Action 018: Start Early.

I started early today, making a fantastic breakfast and getting in a workout.  What does this mean?  The rest of my day was absolutely stellar. 

By starting early, my motivation kicked in for the rest of the day.  There was no lazy stopping at some fast food joint or sitting down and not getting up.  Nope!  The food today was stellar and on point.

I'm actually being reminded I know how to cook and cook well.

Go figure how this all works out...

Action 017: Modify.

Sometimes a well thought out plan must be modified to suit your needs and purposes.

I'm using the basis of a five day diet to help me crank up the fire and get moving, both to get into the white dress and just plain to get moving.

But there were a few problems with the plan.  Not each day had 1,200 calories, just under.  Pretty much all studies have shown that a female body needs at least 1,200 calories a day to be healthy and successfully burn fat.  Too few calories and the body could go into starvation mode.  Granted, the meal plan wasn't far under 1,200, but still... I'm not doing this "just" to get thin or whatever, but to be healthy and simply get my butt in gear.  So I added a few cals to each day.

And another problem with the plan... It assumed you'd be doing the exercise plan that comes with it... Which I'm not.  I'm doing a whole lot more cardio and bringing in the toning on top of that.  What this means is I need more protein to withstand the amount of output I'm doing.  I need to provide sustenance to my muscles, in order to help them grow stronger.

So... Modify.  Make it work for you, while still be healthy and happy.

Action 016: Happy Birthday Mommy!

April 30th is my bestest (ok, and only) mommy's birthday. I don't dare tell you her age or I'll get my tushy kicked. Nonetheless, my mom is truly one of the best. I have spent a lot of time with a lot of moms as of late and it is now that I realize just how good of a job my mom did in balancing her life with my own and in always supporting my dreams and goals. I can't put into words just how much she has done for me over the years, through this day and into the future. So instead, I'll just say, I love you mommy! And happy birthday.

Action 015: Run a New Race.

Today I ran my first 8K. This translates to 5 miles. I've signed up for longer races than 5k's before, but for whatever reason, haven't been able to run them. This time... I did it!!! Granted, I had desperately hoped for rain, or tripping and falling or who knows what so aaww shucks, I can't run. Lo and behold, none of these things happened and I ran. It was a little hillier than I anticipated and I started off the block (so to speak) a little too fast. None the less, I came in a full six minutes before I anticipated coming in. Even though I may or may not have gotten my butt kicked by four walkers. Ssshhh, don't tell!!! I also even ran the final mile! I know it doesn't seem like much to those who do the long distances and it is certainly slow, but each time I finish, I'm reminded I can actually do this. I can succeed if I just get out there and give it my best shot. I'll post some pictures tomorrow as I don't much feel like dealing with the cranky computer tonight. And the same warning goes for this blog as the last, if the formatting is funky, don't blame me, blame the technological "goods".

Action 014: Be Motivated.

I noted that the next couple of weeks are going to be hardcore on plan. This includes planned meals, daily grocery store trips, and lots of working out. This also includes pictures of every bite that goes into my mouth, even if it happens to not be on plan. Ok, which isn't going to happen, but just saying!!! I have a dress I AM going to wear for graduation and you can bet your sweet boopy that if I don't, it won't be because I didn't bust some serious booty. I'm coming off of a girl week, so we'll certainly see how that work out for me. A small new part of the plan is that I'll be going back to VA on Saturday to visit Christine and go to Weight Watchers. Ok, so a huge part of this is because dumbo me left my good runners (running shoes) down there. Yes, I was clearly a bit out of it this morning!!! Please excuse if the formatting isn't right on this entry - my computer is refusing to cooperate and I am using my iPhone. I'm not sure exactly how this will translate...

Action 013: Gift Giving.

This weekend was an expensive weekend!  I was down in Virginia with a friend and ended up doing some necessary shopping while I was there.

And no, there was no frivolous shopping!  The only thing I got for myself was a new armband for my iphone that I'm hoping will be more suitable.  So while not a total necessity, I'm running more and loving it, so I figure I should have the right gear for the job.

Anyways, so I got my parents' birthday gag gifts, their cards, the mother's day card, AND their anniversary card.  I also got two graduation cards AND a confirmation card.  And one of the two graduation gifts I need to get.  Holy smokies!!!

AND I got shoes for graduation.  And shoes for a wedding I'm in.

Oh oh oh!  AND a housewarming gift for my parents.

So while an expensive weekend, I love love love the gifts and cards I've bought for people.  It just makes me happy!!!  I already know how much these people will enjoy the gifts - I tried to make them suitable for the recipient.  This may explain why I'm so often poor... Hehehe.

Action 012: Understanding.

I've spent the better part of the day with Christine and will be doing the same tomorrow. It is SO nice to have somebody who understands the whole weight loss journey and the difficulties in succeeding in it. She is going to be of much use in the coming two weeks as I track EVERYTHING I eat, not only in writing, but in pictures. We always manage to not only talk about weight loss bs, but also fun stuff, funny stuff, venting stuff, and serious stuff. I have spent the better part of the evening laughing. I am so stoked that this weekend has worked out as perfectly as it has. And tomorrow is "only" a 5 miler. This should be fun... Really...

Action 011: Pre-Race Day

Tomorrow I have an 8K in Virginia.  I'm going to spend the night with my friend who lives in the town where the race is being held.  Clearly, this is why I'm doing the race there in the first place.  And oddly enough, her husband actually happens to be out of town this evening, not planned for this specific weekend for the reason of me being there.  Clearly, this was meant to happen.  All week it looked like rain tomorrow morning, but now... maybe not!  So it looks like I'll be running.

So today, this means packing up my race gear.  If I don't have it, I don't run with it.

Shoes.  Socks.  Pants because it'll be cold.  Wicking shirt.  Wicking topper.  Hat (because I'll burn even if it's overcast).  Watch.  Fuel belt.  Fuel.  Inhaler.  Underoos.  Sunblock.  Deodorant.  Body Glide.

Ok, I think I'm ready to rock 'n' roll!  I've been sick, so it won't be my best run ever, but it will be my first race at a length longer than a 5K.  So that's pretty cool.  I have a half marathon June 2nd, so this is a good part way there race to do.

Once the half is done, I'm going to keep saving and spending money on random races throughout the year.  (Marathon update to come).  5K's, 8K's, 10K's, and halfs will be on the books.  Just to keep myself rolling and running.  I find, when I'm actually consistent in my running, I'm healthier in everything else too. 

It's weird.  I really don't like to run all that much.  But, moreso than any other exercise, I actually keep to eating better and strength training when I'm doing the runs.  These last two weeks have been off track due to sickness (it may almost be doctor time at this rate), but still better than I have been in MONTHS.

Regardless, I'm excited!  And to have a friend there for this race is awesome.  I'm super stoked to have that kind of support.

Action 010: My Mommy.

So this morning I was driving around, thinking I want to talk to my mom.  I'd already been for my walk and was onto some errands.

But mama's 3,000 miles away (give or take), so there's no talking to mom early in the morning like I can during the week if I so wish.

In a year, maybe two, my folks are moving out to where I am (from California to somewhere on the East Coast).  We've always said we don't want to live next door, but within an hour would be nice.  Max 90 or so minutes, because, otherwise, what's the point in moving out here to be near me?  (If you haven't figured it out yet, I'm an only child).

I'm starting to think maybe I need to move closer to water, so when my parents move out here, they'll be by the water (my dad's only request if he has to move to the "f-bomb cold").  Because as I was walking I was thinking how nice it would be if mama and I could walk to Starbs together, grab some coffee, and walk home (to whoever's home).  But if we're too far apart, that even becomes a chore!  So I'm starting to think we can't be all that far apart.

Yeah... I'm officially old enough to admit that mommy's being around are good things.  None of this blowing off mom in public stuff kiddos. 

Action 009: Am I Ready?

This coming week is going to be NUTS.  On a super duper amount of levels.

I somehow work, even in a minimal fashion, every day.

I want to get two, maybe even three, loads (including my desk) into storage.

I need to pack for my trip home.  Because this isn't just any trip home, this graduation.  Ok, so it's my third collegiate/graduate one, but whatever.  It's still graduation and I want to look super duper cute.  Which means bringing home like three dresses, plus the one that's already there.  I mean, you never know what your body is going to decide to do the day of.  Ok, maybe stars know, but I don't have dressers, so I have to have choices.

Plus, I need to make sure these dresses will fit!  This is bloat week (hello being a woman... :P), so I can't say how well my body responded to the added exercise this week.  Next week is going to be a hardcore week.  I already have my eating plan laid out, plus a hardcore exercise plan.  Is this something I'll keep up for good?  Of course not.  But sometimes, events take priority and this will be a butt kicking week (plus keeping it up through the next week for "the" dress).  I swear, I probably won't even do this for my wedding!  Not that that's happening anytime soon, seeing as how there's not even a man in the picture...

None the less!  OK, so I have date night with one of my gal pals on Friday (yay!) and yes, I'll be splurging on some popcorn and diet coke.

I'll have a long run to do, think 10 or so miles.  (And a 12 miler to fit in while I'm home... I clearly plan oh so well).

I get my hair cut on Saturday.  Woohoo!  Best mommy ever.  Cause she's paying for it cause she also wants me to be super duper cute on grad day.  And let's just say, it's been a long while since it's been cut.  So it's currently NOT super duper cute.

And THEN.  Monday!  The day before I leave.  The plan?  Work.  Run.  Get nails done.  Go to dinner with Kerry and fam.  Get massage (my grad gift to myself).  I figure I better be packed by then or geez.  Luckily, for once, I'm not leaving at the ass crack of dawn on Tuesday, so I'll be able to get in a workout then too.  Plus, the going around unplugging everything and all that jazz.

Am I Ready?

BRING.  IT.  ON.

(OK, so I totally forgot to publish this last night cause I apparently can't remember to hit publish - sorry for the delay folks!)

Action 008: Buy Games for Exercise.

No, I'm not talking about a perverted version of Twister... Although if that works out for you, do let me know. I have an iPhone and downloaded a running application called Zombie Run. It is SO much fun. I ran with it two days ago, going to run with it tonight and tomorrow. It acts like there are zombies chasing you and has you speed up and "collect" things as you go. There are missions and supply runs, all while trying to not be infested by zombies. It was a few dollars, but those few dollars spent were so beyond worth it. Sometimes stupid things that make necessities fun make life just so worth it.

Action 007: Shows.

I don't have cable, so I rarely get to watch tv. I'm at a friends' house to take care of the dogs. So this means I get to watch tv for a bit. The show that was on when I turned on the telly was "Don't Be Tardy for the Wedding", a show about one of the ol' housewives wedding process. This shiz is hilarious. She's blonde, booby, and batshit. Her hubs to be is a football player and hired her his trainer, because she needs to lose some for the wedding to fit into her dress. Um, I really hope I don't workout like that or it could be why I'm not seeing results... Her best friend, maid of honor, and some sort of staff person is awesome. She's hilarious and cute and would never upstage blondie for whatever. And now she's looking for her second dress... She needs at least two inches of side boob. There's no purpose to this blog, other than I'm having the time of my life watching this crap.

Action 006: Do It Anyways.

Tonight, I had to talk myself into going to the gym.  You know, the one just downstairs.  Where I don't even have to get into my vehicle or catch public transportation to get to.

Dressed, ready, watered, extra water, with iphone music and off I go.

It's closed.

Would you like to know what would have happened as recently as two days ago?  Much less recently in general?

I would have walked my happy butt upstairs, changed, and plopped into bed.

Do you know what I did instead?  I challenged myself to walk the stairs down to the lobby and back up, twice.  This is 13 floors.  Then do a little Self magazine strength workout, two rounds.

And do you know what I actually did?

FOUR ROUNDS OF 13 FLOORS!

And THREE rounds of strength training.

Rockstar status?  Why yes, yes I believe I do have this for the day afterall.

Do you know what else this means? 

I'll actually be getting up to workout.  It's in just a few short hours, so off I go, so I can actually get some sleep and have energy to do such things.

Action 005: Make a Choice.

Working with uber young ones has taught me a lot about patience and the type of parent I want to be.  Side note here: provided I actually remember the lessons I've learned, seeing as how my memory isn't too grand.

I spoke with a colleague in the world of young'uns today about one of the things I've noticed and wanted her thoughts as well.  Know that what I write about children is not only my perception.  Also note, this isn't meant to be judgmental.  I'm well aware I do not have children and until I do, who knows how I'll actually parent.  This being said...

Some parents give into their kids realllllly quickly.  I mean, ridiculously quickly.  And allllll the time.  Now don't get me wrong, giving in sometimes is totally fine.  I grew up spoiled, because, believe me, my mom knew how to be persuaded by her delightful, wonderful, beautiful only daughter.  But when I acted like a brat, those giving in moments halted because I didn't deserve them or hadn't earned them.  Some of these children I sit or supervise or corral are brats.  And yet, their parents give in and frequently.  What I find ironic is that the parents then complain that their children are acting like brats and just sigh and give them whatever it is they want (not just in terms of buying things, but also doing things around the house or when/what they can eat, etc).

Today, I was putting a 20 month old down for her nap.  She was fussy because it was a bit later than usual and finally got to the point where I gave her a choice.  Your crib or rocking with me.  She climbed off my lap, still crying, and stood in the middle of the room, still crying.  This to me was the choice of crib (and yes, she understands).  She cried for about 10 minutes and I went back in and picked her up.  I sat down with her, still crying.  And again, offered her the choice of rocking with me and a story or the crib.  She tried to climb down again and I reminded her what happened last time she made that choice.  She settled into my arms and promptly conked out.

And then I had an epiphany.  She was given two choices.  She didn't like the result of the first choice she made, so when she was given the opportunity to re-make that decision, she did.

What about me?  What about the choices I give myself?  In this whole weight loss journey, I often find I give myself choices of this or that.  Maybe it's a Starbucks in the morning OR a small scoop of ice cream post dinner.  Maybe it's a dance dvd or a treadmill run.  Here's the problem.  In the first example, far too often, the answer has been both.  In the second example, far too often the answer has been neither.  Wait a minute, I didn't see an option for both or neither in those examples...  Yet, those are the end result.  Why?  Why is that?  If I were a small child asking for this third option, the answer would be no because they aren't healthy or even remotely ultimately gratifying options.  And yet, I allow myself to throw a tantrum (so to speak) and give into myself.  While the answer is not that I'm a brat like some of the children we have seen, the answer IS that I'm not fit and healthy.  Big correlation here, brat to healthy and fit.

Following me?

So, I'm realizing I really should treat myself more like I treat the kids I care for frequently.  When I'm hired, it's with the caveat that I'm a teacher and don't take crap.  Sure, I allow the usual leeway, as hey now, kids will be kids.  But pulling fast ones aren't going to fly.  So why am I allowing myself to pull fast ones?  Why am I allowing myself to give myself crap?

When I offer myself a choice, I need to make the choice of those listed.  Not add some random extra option that isn't conducive to my end goal of getting fitter and healthier.

Action 004: Don't Do the Math.

This blog is more of a warning to the future me than anything. Before I explain the blog, and how I came to be thinking about it, let me state my warning to my future self who will inevitably read this.

DO NOT CALCULATE WHAT YOU OWE. And how long it will take you to pay it off. Just know it ain't gonna be anytime soon. Enough said.

Now, STOP reading future Morgan.

Ok.  Now.  Moving on...

For whatever reason, I decided to do some math today. I know how much I spend a month, not including insurance and school loans (do not need to pay them yet). So then I decided to pretend I have a big girl job and calculate how much a month I could put toward school loans if I had said job. I then decided this math was getting way too complicated, so let's just round way up and know I'll need to add to a few years to how long it will take me to pay off the school loans.

The answer? 12 plus years!!!

And this is including dingbat me forgetting to calculate some remote percentage for interest. This doesn't include whether or not I ever intend to add to my monthly bills in the form of a house instead of rent or children.

Um, maybe I should go study and find a way to genetically alter pigs so they will fly. I'm pretty sure this will happen first.

Or maybe I should find a way to develop World Peace. Because, again, I'm pretty sure this will happen first.

Or or or find a way to re-route flatulence so that it can provide energy and halt the progression of global warming. This will probably happen quickest now that I think about it.

So a word from the wise, sometimes being totally in the dark is a realllllly good thing. Plans are not always necessary when this is the kind of knuckle punch one takes. I have always loved rather expensive things and enjoy the finer things in life, not learning to budget money until really rather recently. Apparently this has caught up with me by not even, for a second, considering what I would be doing to myself in the long-term by going for two expensive, private school degrees back to back.

Good job expensive Morgan, good job.

Action 003: Surprise Yourself.

I hit the treadmill today, not really knowing what to expect.  I haven't worked out in about a week and a half, the amount of time I've been sick and snotty (literally, not figuratively).

I ran well... When I could.  A good percentage of the time was spent walking because the coughing just wasn't going to let me run very fast.  I finished, thinking it wouldn't be a very long distance, that I must have gone oh so slow.

I ran a 5k in 45 minutes.  Yes, this may seem slow to you.  But I must tell you... When I first started running, oh so long ago, and healthy, I could BARELY run a 5k in 45 minutes.  No joke.  I was slow and had to walk far more than I could run.  There were no excuses or explanations of being sick or lazy or tired or full or dehydrated or whatever.  I simply was not able to run very much.

So today?  To be able to actually be sick and to still get in 3.2 miles in 45 minutes?  That's pretty darn cool.  My body may not be exponentially smaller than it was when I first started running, due to fits and starts and stress eating like a champ.  But my body is in a better place regardless.  To be able to go from not working out in a week and a half AND sick and still be able to physically complete a task better than I was able a long while back is awesome.

People always talk about Non-Scale Victories.  This is one.  This is a big one for me.  My body is healthier.  The scale doesn't really show it.  The measurements certainly don't show it.  But my lung capacity?  It shows.  My legs' ability to move and groove?  It shows.  My body is healthier.  And that?  Is a surprise.

And quite the welcome one.

Action 002: Make a Plan and Stick.

Today, I made a plan.  I made a plan to run on the treadmill and do a strength workout.  Guess what?  Both done!  Whoo!  Bring it!

I didn't make a plan regarding food, because I decided I really needed to worry more about getting back to working out.  Whatever happens today, happens.  Luckily, I haven't been a total kook on the food front.  It hasn't become a free for all.

I do have plans for tonight, at a bar.  I don't plan to eat and I thoroughly do not plan to eat.  I am now able to say I stuck to the plan of working out, so I believe I can stick to this new plan.  Yes, simply because I stuck to another plan.  Amazing how well that works out.

Time to pack up a few more boxes, then shower the grime of working out off.  Woohoo!  Rockstar status for the day!

Action 001: Re-Think the Plan.

Yes, it may seem as if I'm starting over, but rather, I'm re-thinking the plan.

I made one massive error when deciding to take on this project after a man I consider quite cool... he's sooooo cool that he has way more of a life than me and way more to write about.

Don't worry - this is not me insulting myself.  Rather, my life is very much so spent in a very large monotony.  At some point this will change, but not right now.  Why you ask?  Because my days are spent with kiddos, packing, and looking for a job.  No joke.  There is really so very little I can afford to add to these days right now.  So I think I will save this expanded project of Project One Five for when I'm able to participate more fully in a life outside of my own little world.

But!!!  This does not mean I am allowed to quit or anything of the sort.  Rather, I'm just going to shift the goals a teeny tiny bit.  You see, I loved the fact I was blogging every single day.  It kept me accountable and made me feel good that I was sharing this journey with you.  But struggling to come up with five whole DIFFERENT actions became ridiculously overwhelming.  At first, I admitted defeat.

But NO NO NO.  There is not defeat!  I accepted what is and decided to make this project into one that will work for ME.  I'm proud that I'm able to come to this conclusion with no guilt.  See, guilt would have been my go-to emotion before, because I wasn't "good enough" to finish.  No no no!  That's not what this journey is about.  This journey is about finding what will and will not work for you.  Right now?  Five actions a day, never mind writing about them, will not work.  They simply won't.

So how am I going to go about doing this?

Well.  It's the same project essentially.  100 Days (starting today), 300 Actions.  So it becomes Project One Three.  Which is kind of funny, because 13 is my lucky number.  I've found that I can always write about three things.  Plus, some of the things I've already written about in the 68 actions of the previous project will be written about again, because, well, why not?!  Maybe my thoughts are different or I have more to say.  Who knows.  None the less, it's a clean slate.  I think I'll be far more successful this time around, because the expectations are far less.  Not only the expectation to write a whole lot, but the expectation to have a life.  It may sound weird, but that was just as overwhelming.  I felt bad that I didn't have the kind of life I used to or the kind of life others have.  There's no need to feel that way.  I'm in a place right now where I have to stay the course and get things done, remain focused on the goal.  There is certainly time for other things, but not so many that I have to stress about it.  I lose my job really relatively soon and have too move.  I really really really do not want to have to move back to California, so a job and a place to live within the next few months are imperative.  If this means stepping back some from an outside life, then that's what it means.

So Project One Three to commence!  I'm excited for this.  Totally rejuvenated.

Action 068: Budget.

I know of a few people who will laugh when they see this title, knowing how not good I am at this very topic.

Out of necessity over the last few months, I've had to learn to budget like mad. I know exactly how I much I owe. The budget never ends up working out exactly how I like, but I do my best and hope for the best at the end of the day.

Regardless, I never budgeted before, so it is nice to be able to see where money is going and how I'm spending it.

Action 067: Sometimes Not Worth It.

Tonight I'm babysitting for a little extra dough.

This evening cannot be worth those few dollars I'll make.

Last time I babysat this family, I'd been heavily warned about these children. I had minimal problems, so when the mom asked me for tonight, I said sure.

And now I see just how justified those warnings were.

One of these children has some sort of mental or emotional disability. I couldn't tell you which, as I'm not trained, but this kid definitely has something

Tonight I got the biting, hitting, throwing things (including directly at me and at mirrors).

So the upshot is this: sometimes the cons out weigh the pros and it is better to just go with the flow and live life more fun ways.

(P.s. I meant to press post last night, but apparently I didn't!)

Action 066: Take the Losses.

I've only lost .8 this week. Yes, I've been sick and have to down some coca cola ate at night due to upset tummy. But I'm still disappointed in this loss.

It's weird. I would tell a friend to be happy that it is a loss, that a pound a week is great, that slow and steady wins the race to keep the weight off.

Then the nasty voice in my head retorts: it's not enough of a loss, that a pound a week is crap at my weight, that there is no winning any kind of race if the fat won't go away.

I'm not really entirely certain how to change the litany in my head. I'm not really sure how to be happy that a loss is a loss and how to continue to improve healthy habits, regardless of what the scale is telling me.

So tonightbim working to be happy that a loss is a loss and to accept it for what it is, down numbers on a scale.

Action 065: Research.

Weight Watchers is a mix bag for me. I'm doing better at utilizing what the program has to offer, but I'm just not all there yet. And so I finally sat down with myself to think about whether or not it'll be able to be all there with this program.

The answer is... I'm still not sure. Like, really not sure. Which is probably problematic in and of itself. I'm not sure the points program is ultimately going to work for me. Then again, calorie counting has proven itself to not work for me. So, what else is left? Hhhmmmm. Winging it? I'm pretty sure that could also lead to bad results.

I did find an interesting web site that has a mix of personal training and nutrition. I seriously considered making a switch, but ensured to do what I do best first... Research. And through this research, I found multiple sites that offered pros and cons for this particular web site. The pros sounded great. The cons didn't sound terrible for some people, but I just didn't think they would work for me. It would be much too easy to make the excuses I am so accustomed to making.

So it's back to the drawing board. I'm going to keep WW up for the time being. I like the meetings and the weekly weigh in accountability is fantastic. For those two things alone, it's worth the money to me... Until I decide there's something better.

I am thinking this week I might do a little experiment. I might do the free for all thing. I can buy what I believe I need and eat what I want, provided it is from the grocery store and I get in my five to eit freggies per day. Beyond that, I know a whole lot about food and nutrition. I just haven't put that knowledge to use. I'll still track the food and religiously. Not to make sure I'm in point range, but simply to keep track. Let's see what happens when I wing it a little. It can't be any worse than outright failing a program because I don't strictly adhere to its system.

Action 064: Play.

Starting today, Thursdays will be for babysitting this absolutely adorable 16 month old. What's on our agenda every week?

The playground!

Well, providing it is not pouring rain of course!

We played there for about an hour today and seeing all the little kiddos running around was fun. Hearing their laughter can never fail to perk a gal up. So I. Excited for this chance to spend some time outside, laughing with kids, and having good old fashioned fun.

Action 063: Take Care of Yourself.

I've disappeared again. This time was actually for a halfway decent reason though.

I've been sleeping. And not because I'm lazy, but because I've been sick. I've had a weird mix of flu and cold symptoms, meaning sleep when not working has been my best friend.

Not only have I not really blogged, on any of my sites, I haven't really completed any "actions", because I haven't been doing anything to share about. This is one thing I didn't particularly take into account - the absence of action (regardless of the reason for said lack of action).

But I'm hopefully on the mend and back to it. I've also charged up my iPad, so I can blog from anywhere at anytime.

Action 062: Set Goals.

I am on a web site that sends out e-mails however many times a week, e-mails that I rarely read.

For whatever reason, I read an e-mail sent out today.  The gals who run the web site are going to have an eight week challenge.  One of the key points they noted in this e-mail is to set goals, using guiding questions, for the eight week duration.  If you happen to want to check out the web site... Tone It Up.

I may not be following their plan exactly, but I like the idea of doing a simple eight weeks.  Then I can do another, but starting with eight weeks gets me through my half marathon (which I failed a bit on training for this last week... whoops...).

Visualize the next eight weeks and where you'll be in eight weeks...  What you want to achieve...

(Start: April 15.  End: June 9.)

Where do you want to be?

I want to have finished my first half marathon (June 2).  

I want to actually eat my five-eight servings of freggies a day.

I want to be in a smaller size clothing.

How do you want to feel in eight weeks?

I want to feel more comfortable participating in physical activities, by working on building up my lung capacity.  I also want to be prouder of my body and its capabilities.

What challenges will you overcome by summer?

Asthma, lack of healthy eating, funky living arrangements (almost overcome by the end of this period), being jobless (I hope...)...

How do you plan on staying committed?

Telling everybody and their mothers I'm doing x,y, z.  By working hard with Christine on our respective challenges and remembering I always have something to work toward.  Oh and by actually sticking to the plan.

"Failure to plan means planning to fail."  (Heard at WW)

Action 061: Get Things Done.

The other evening there was an issue with my landlords' storage unit, resulting in me having to rush home and clean some of it out.

They're coming by today to peruse the damage, which would be difficult considering as of the time I woke up, the stuff was still in my apartment, so it could dry out.

I was getting lazy and thinking maybe I'd come back to the apartment right before they're expected and run all the stuff downstairs.  But realized, I just needed to get this stuff done and deal with it.

So got on top of it, put stickies with notes about what was what on each item, and got it all loaded up.  Whoo!  Now it's done and my day is mine.

That being said, dogs have now been fed and I think I'll head home to get cracking on my apartment.  I've rarely been home for the last four days, so need to get stuff done in my own joint.

Action 060: Follow Your Passions.

I believe I mentioned at some point when I achieved a goal, I could buy a tornado textbook.  Sitting here, captivated by the weather channel and crazy storms happening, I might need to re-think the goal reward and find the dough for a textbook a little sooner rather than later.

Because, really now, textbooks are expensive.

I don't want to just buy some bs book though, so I'm now researching intro to meteorology syllabi to see which textbook pops up the most in order to order a strong book that will assist me in my goal to learn more.

Why do anything half assed?  If you're passionate about something, go for it!

Action 059: Be Helpful.

A friend texted this morning, flipping out about what to wear to a business casual event. She knows I once upon a time did business and business casual daily, so came to me for help.

It's nice to be able to be in a position where your friends come to you for help, even for seemingly minimal problems.

Action 058: Make Challenges.

I wrote a blog just a few days ago about doing it with friends. Not THAT it. Heads out of the gutter my beloved followers.

My "it" right now is this whole getting healthier journey. One of the people working hard on this journey with me is my wonderful friend Christine. She's also working to lose weight and get healthier, albeit for different immediate reasons than I.

None the less, we went to Weight Watchers together over the weekend and proceeded to have just a insanely fantastic discussion about things we could do, small things.

One of the things that has worked for her in the past has been to do a money challenge with her hubs. So she has decided to bring that challenge back into play. While trying to figure out a challenge for me, it became more complicated. There's really nobody I want to do a money challenge with or want to give my money to if I don't do so well on something. Right now, for as much as intalk about having friends to do things with and support you, it's really still a very individual journey for me in many respects.

So we came up with the "Diamond Quest". I accumulate diamonds for doing certain things and lose them if I don't do certain things or do too much of bad things. We decided to call the "points" diamonds because we already track our food using WW points. Having too many point concepts sliding around makes life really too wacked out. Plus, I'm all for shooting for shiny things! When I accumulate 1,000 diamonds, then I get to buy a treat. The current quest is for a new summer dress (so I better get those dang points before the summer ends!). The next 1,000 diamond quest will be decided at that point in time.

It's just something to hold me accountable and is a way for me to send Christine visual updates on my progress. And the same goes for her to me on her money challenge with her hubs(because, let's get real, he probably doesn't much care about all the visual stuff we teachers do).

Plus, it's fun! And I get to use my creativity. We all know how I like to do that!!!

Action 057: Don't Take Things Personally.

Today I am quite tired. I have gotten very little sleep, so babysitting today is nothing, but a chore. And knowing I have two rounds of it until late? A bit interminable.

So I did the complaining thing to a friend I thought would understand the being very tired and having to work with diaper-licious kiddos. I mentioned something about being bored early on in the first round of sitting.

Her response? "You're already bored and you want to be a teacher?"

It's a rude statement. Maybe she was trying to be funny or maybe she's just cranky herself because she also has a long day ahead and I'm a handy target as a friend.

Either way, she knows nothing of my skills in my classroom, nor is she even remotely trained to be in one herself. As such, there is really no need to take such a statement seriously or personally.

I had to remind myself that people say all sorts of things and their meaning is not always known. And we're not even going to discuss how things come across in text versus voice, no matter how well we know that person.

Action 056: Stay Un-Lazy

I've been lazy typing these suckers up.  Because I think it in my head, that's enough.

NO, IT IS NOT.  I can think a whole lot of things.  That doesn't make those said things true!  Sheesh.

Plus, if I don't write, how do I refer back to it when the going gets tougher?  How do I see how I felt, thought, acted?  And if I don't put it down in words, do I really have to stand by it?

I'm not saying if there's one of those terribly crazy, nutty days, that I have to be that much of a rockstar, but three days off so far?  That's just lazy.

Just because I think about the actions doesn't make them wholly true.  They existed once, but then what?

Action 055: Live for Today

Lately, I've been feeling like an absolute failure.  My life isn't even remotely where I ever wanted it to be.  While some of the paths of the future goals have been interesting, I also haven't even begun to hit those goals yet.  I'm at an absolute standstill when it comes to that and so I have to change my thinking for the time being.

I'm a fan of not only having a goal, but having future wants (for instance, I know for a fact I want kids, plural, and I don't want to be 90 when I have them).  But, because I'm not in line to make these future wants happen, I'm feeling like a failure.

So instead, I'm going to live for today.  Every day is a new day and there is no future for me to worry about.

I'm not going to learn to cook healthier so I can cook for my future family.  No no, I'm going to learn to cook healthier and get into the habit of eating healthier so I can be healthier and fitter.

I'm not going to immediately try to find work in Education because that's what I have a degree in and that degree is rapidly becoming a waste of money also.  No no, I'm going to look for work in what I know, so that I can pay the rent and food bills.  Oh, and those pesky student loans for those delightful pieces of paper that hang on the wall.

Things like this are going to become my trade.  I'm a firm believer that our past helps to build who we are, but for right now, even that is going to become a moot point.  I'm certainly not suggesting that I'll forever forget the past or the future, just putting my thinking a whole lot more in the moment until such time I'm actually able to do some things on my own without assistance.  Because feeling like a failure?  Isn't working.  It isn't conducive to building a healthy lifestyle and only provides fuel to live UN-healthy.

054: Buy a White Dress

Note: I'm a couple days off of 100 Days, 500 Actions.  It will end up being more like 105 Days, 500 Actions, 3 Days of Writing Vacation.  Ha!

Today's topic is about a white dress.  Cryptic yes?

No, it is not a wedding dress.

A friend of mine and I went out for Easter lunch the other day and stopped in at Banana Republic in the process.  By this time we both had food babies, so that made trying on clothes an interesting concept.  We both found dresses we LOVED.  What is funny is we'd normally be attracted to the other person's dress...  Nobody ever said we were normal.

The dress I tried on  is a streamlined white dress, high neck (shocker for me), and a cinched in waist.  It's straight, not A-line, so generally not a style I'm particularly attracted to.  Then there's also the fact that it's WHITE.

The thing is, it was such a bright white, that it didn't blend with me, which is generally the problem.  So I have four weeks to make sure this dress has no presence of a food baby.

P.s. best mommy ever for buying me my walk in graduation dress.  Yes, this is the purpose of the dress...

Action 053: Do It with Friends.

This morning I traveled for WW, down to where Christine lives. We had decided to go together and then chat about what in the world we are going to do to motivate ourselves to finally get this done.

I'm not going to go into the whole discussion or final conclusions for now. The point of this blog is how nice it is not just to have somebody in a similar experience, but who wants to work you, even daily, to make it happen.

I am seriously going to miss her when she leaves me for a week to go to Paris.

Commence calling her dirty names now...

I kid! I kid!

But seriously. Today provided one of the best conversations I've had with her and in general re weight loss.

Action 052: Happy Anniversary.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to my beauteous, delightful, wonderful parents.

33 years later... Long ones as my father says ;).

Action 051: Make Relevant Correlations.

Today at the Weight Watchers meeting, the leader made an absolutely fascinating correlation.

It started when he asked the group what are things we do when we've totally fallen off the wagon. I raised my hand and mentioned that I hold myself accountable, that I get on the scale regardless of what's about to come.

Wayne, the leader, notes that losing weight is like "The Wizard of Oz". My first reaction was less than impressed. What's a bimbo from Kansas with a dog got to do with this?!

He mentions that Dorothy makes this journey, through Munchkinland, through fields, through the woods before she makes it to Oz. she turns an hour glass, but that doesn't take her home. Weight loss is much like this, a circuitous journey, and one we often give up. But! Remember, Dorothy had the ability the entire time to get home, if she had simply clicked her heels. WW are the heels. We have them at all times, it's simply up to us how and when we use it.

I have been less than accountable to WW. Yes, I weigh in religiously every week, but I have yet to recently utilize the program itself.

So this was a fascinating correlation for me, especially since it was something that I expected to suck.

Action 050: Be Humble.

I weighed in at Weight Watchers today and it was not what one could call a brilliant weigh in. In fact, the total antithesis of that. Regardless, I'm holding myself accountable and being reminded that just because I don't always mind what I see in the mirror, the scale will show the truth of what I've done to myself this week.

So I need to remember not to think so highly of myself in this respect. I have a long way to go and while thinking highly of oneself is good... When health is involved, it's also smart to be realistic.

The scale was helpful today in reminding me of that.

Action 049: Weigh In Outfit

I just finished pulling together my special weigh in outfit. It's changing just a bit for tomorrow, which confused me a bit because I'm, at times, a creature of habit.

I have a Weight Watchers shirt that I always wear. A sweatshirt that will come off for the actual weighing. The change is that instead of wearing Capri workout pants like usual, I'll be wearing workout pants. Will they "add" a bit of weight? Why yes. Does it REALLY matter in the whole scheme of things? It shouldn't. It's going to be approximately 30 degrees in the morning. My calves do not need to be freezing cold just to save a half a pound of extra gain on the scale.

So this will be my outfit for the next few weeks until it is consistently warmer out. Then whatever week I switch back to capris, I'll just have an extra half pound down that week and we'll celebrate like mad then.

Sound like a plan to you?

Yeah, me too.

Action 048: Laugh. Not Just at Yourself.

Today my mother and I were speaking on the phone. The story I'm about to tell might make me liable for a butt kicking, but oh so worth it.

She mentions how dad was teasing her this morning about hopefully not forgetting their anniversary tomorrow. Mom mentions how she can't imagine why dad was going on and on about this and how of course she wouldn't forget.

I reminded her that she legit forgot their anniversary last year. Dad walked in with flowers and mom asked him what they were for...

Apparently mom forgot she forgot... I'd probably want to forget that little boo boo too! Especially since men are the ones who get the bad rap about forgetting important dates.

This was not meant to be a story to rat my mother out,but rather to show how the flat out weirdest things can be the absolute funniest. It provided a huge laugh for the morning and set the rest of the day up quite nicely.

Action 047: Keep Going.

A friend of mine and I are both on Weight Watchers. Neither of us are particularly stellar at following the program either due to our propensity to be emotional eaters and not finding replacements for those times, times that are in abundance right now.

Tomorrow we're both going to show a gain on the scale, on our "official" weigh in day. After we are going to get coffee and get real. We've had numerous conversations about things we can do to change. Those things have never happened.

So tomorrow we get real and face up to what it is we need to do. Before that, acknowledge the root of the problem, whatever that may be for each of us.

Action 046: Be a Nerd

If it wasn't confirmed before that I am a nerd, I am about to confirm it.

When I have saved another $1,000 in my savings, then I can go out and purchase a book. No, not with the K, that's just the goal or incentive.

What can I buy?

A textbook about tornados. Yes, a textbook. These suckers just fascinate me and what better way to learn about them than from how they work?

Maybe dad was right. I'm not so bad at science... When I actually give a rat's rear end.

Action 045: More Focus Thoughts.

Earlier today, I wrote about needing to focus on one things in respects to the work world right now.  Having such split energies has been making me crazy.  Well, I suppose I should say crazier.  It certainly hasn't helped my anxiety levels or my need to find some semblance of balance in what is absolute chaos right now.

I was able to verbalize a while ago that when I sent out education resumes, I couldn't even be sure I'd be heavily looked at, much less given a job.  While I may not get a job right away in PR, at least I know I'll be given a darn good glance or two before being passed over.  My experience is really quite strong, as is my ability to offset those skills with the ones I've gained over the last four years.

It was pointed out to me that I've done what I can do for the moment in the education world.  I can't make anyone else move any faster and just running around trying is making me spin in circles.  But I CAN move forward in PR by finding more companies in the area and networking.  I can try to find events to attend and spread out my nets a little bit wider, moving into other big cities on the east coast.  I can easily relocate for a couple of years, just to get my feet back under me.

What's hardest right now is that I have to give up the long term dream.  I'm not saying for good, just for now. I can't be on "the plan" anymore and assume I'll be married and knocked up by 30/31/32.  I can't even hope very hard for it.  One - it's just not that simple.  Two - I can't split energies.  I'm not saying I'm giving up on it, just giving up on the timeline.

I've always been able to get out there and get what I want out of my life.  I haven't been able to do this for a really long time.  It doesn't matter how proactive I am, I just seem to be failing.  So it's time to reorganize and focus.  I have to figure out exactly what my priorities are and right now those priorities are the short term, not the long term.

Action 044: Involve Family.

My mom wants to join in on The BFF Shack plan.  Who doesn't love a mother who wants to drink margaritas all day long, while schmoozing with the locals and tourists alike, and listening to a lil Jimmy?  Did I forget to mention the near propensity of a beach?  Because that is also essential.

I'm pretty sure I have the best family ever.  Just saying.

I'm also pretty sure my dad should be the bartender and wear his Hawaiian shirts everyday.  Because I'm pretty sure we'd be a sure fire hit if that were the case.

What would Lo and I do you ask?  Why look awesome and drink and schmooze and and and... have fun!

What more could you want???

Action 043: Enjoy Guilty Pleasures.

Now I know most folks would call a guilty pleasure some chocolate or a long bath on a week night.

I am not, as I'm sure you well know by now, most people.

My guilty pleasure?  Trashy magazines, such as People, In Touch, and US Weekly.  I love this stuff.  I don't watch television at all anymore due to no cable, so it's almost even more fun and even more guiltifying (yes, I made up a word) to read these magazines, because of my total lack of "investment" in them and the people within the pages.

Yet, I love them.  Looooooooooove them.  It makes me giggle to read this absolute load of horse sh....tuff... and wonder how quickly I'd be so royally annoyed by the constant review of my life if I were one of the objects of, loosely noted, affection.

Should I spend a single penny on such things?  Of course not.  Whenever I have an extra buck or two, do I spend them?  You betcha.

How can I resist?!

Action 042: Talk to Friends.

A friend of mine called me, all the way from California.  I was just starting to pack up a box, so I kept right on going while talking.  She's been checking in a whole lot more lately, making sure I'm doing okay with all the insanity that is my life right now.

It was a nice call, where I explained exactly what's up on the job front and what I'm doing to move forward in other and fairly interesting ways.

Regardless, she's known be for a whole long time (think about 15 years... holy crap we got old...) and it's just nice to have someone who knows how you think get what you're saying.  Some of what I'm doing these days is a funky logic and some of my friends out here just don't quite get it, because it's not looking long term enough.  But Lo?  No, no.  She got it.  It may not work for everybody, but it's what will work for me, especially these days.

I'm of the opinion we should run away to an island, open a bar (The BFF Shack) and play nothing but songs by and with Jimmy Buffet.  I'm pretty sure she'd be down with this plan - we just need the funding.

Who's in?!

Action 041: Focus.

There are times when having an open ending... anything... is worthwhile.  There are other times when it is probably not.

Sitting here today, thinking about what else I can do to get a decent job, I realized that all of the web sites I'm on (Monster, Washington Post, LinkedIn) had a divergent notation of either education or public/media relations.

At this point, education is a moot career.  Someday down the line, great, it will be wonderful.  But right now, due to an insane amount of glitches, it's just not feasible.  So what is my option?  Go back to what I know and what I have experience in.  No, no, not get another degree.

Public and Media Relations.

So I went on all of these web sites and spent a copious amount of time updating my information and what search terms I want used in conjunction with my name.  Instead of half PR related and half education related, everything is now in conjunction with PR.

I have to believe I'm doing what I can to make this happen, now that I've committed to this route.  I've sent out bounteous e-mails today and will continue to research PR firms in this area that might be interested in my past experience.

Action 040: Have a Cupcake.

A huge portion of this project is surrounding weight loss and my journey surrounding that goal.

But sometimes, a cupcake just makes the world a better place.

My new fave cupcake place had a special flavor I've been meaning to try for a week and I finally did.

Every single calorie was totally worth it.

Action 039: A Lil Soul Action

I'm not one to suggest people try my brand of spiritual practice. But I do think it's important to think about ourselves in context of the bigger picture.

I happen to believe that there's something greater than us out there. So I choose to practice my spirituality in the way I was raised - Lutheran. And yes, I use the word "choose" specifically. Maybe someday I'll write about.

But for today, on behalf of last night, I'm just writing about doing whatever needs to be done to make you feel connected. Last night I went to a Seder Dinner. It was done much in the vein of a Jewish Seder, just with a slightly different purpose. It was nice to be with other folks celebrating the season and also wanting to explore their faith and their connection to it.

Action 038: Have Fun... Wherever or However You Can

Today is a hot day in the ol' neighborhood.  The kind of day where I open up the sunroof and blast the tunes.

Except... it's been winter... I've been singing at the top of my lungs with said tunes due to the fact all windows and roofs are closed...

They weren't today...

I still sang at the top of my lungs...

I may or may not have gotten a few looks.

I may or may not have just laughed, waved, and kept right on doing it.

Action 037: Inaction.

There are times when a strong, constructive action is actually inaction.

I know, you're probably already wondering if I've gone off my rocker.  I just talked about losing days and now I'm talking about the anti-thesis to the point of this blog?!

My computer has decided, quite frequently, not to like me.  I got a virus a while back in the sucker that I seem to have removed.  It has never recovered...

This morning was a morning of not liking me.  Let me tell you, I wanted to beat this thing brainless.  I'm generally not a person of violence against inanimate objects (pillows possibly excluded), but I wanted to pick this sucker up and throw it against the wall, watch it shatter, and then toss it off the balcony.

Now, this blog could have also been titled with something about control, because my action is technically exerting control over these base needs of seeing this thing go bye bye, but no.  It's not simply about control, it's about just plain not doing what's in your head to do.

Action 036: Lose A Day?

I'm up early to take a shower, have coffee with a friend, then finish out the get a better job project I moved quickly on yesterday.  I thought to myself that I needed to write my last blog for yesterday, since I'd forgotten to do that before I went to bed...

I log on and see that not only did I not write the last blog for yesterday, I didn't write ANY blogs yesterday.  Uhhh, whoops?

What does this tell me though?  It tells me I was working hard on a project that is absolutely essential, as essential as this one.  It tells me that I was active in my daily life, thinking about actions, even if completely 100% writing down what I'd want to write about later. 

I am, by no means, done or giving up on this project.  Nor am I going to let myself "slide" and a lose a day often.   But in keeping with the better the expectations of myself theme, I'm just going to continue on with today and the actions, not rushing to haphazardly write about five actions from yesterday.  Every so often, life really does just happen and there's not always time or the inclination or the ability to write about it and share.

Luckily, not much happened yesterday either.  I'm not even sure I would have had five actions to begin with!  I didn't see anybody, didn't do much of anything, and so it worked out just fine in the whole scheme of things.

Funny how that all works.  Sometimes, just going with the flow (that yes, I also wrote about... Go with the Flow.) is what it's all about and sometimes, it's just better that way.

Action 035: Choose the Right Time.

There's been a subject I've wanted to talk about for a couple of days, but yesterday didn't even get done on time, so that was a wash. Which ended up before fine, because there's more on the subject I could say from today's experiences.

But it's late and it's an emotional topic for me. The type of topic that if I wrote about it right before I slept, I probably wouldn't get much sleep. So right this minute is not the right time to write about it, to share.

Instead, I'll choose a better time, when I have not only time to sit and write, but the courage to be able to sift through my feelings and put them to paper.

Until then, I'll think about how pretty I'll look on Easter Sunday as I just figured out what dress I'll be wearing. Easter just seems to need a little extra something special.

Action 034: Read.

I love books. It's really quite ridiculous how much I love them. I can't tell you the amount of times I've spent grocery money on books these last four years. And no, I don't mean the school variety.

I love what books do for me. I have such an active imagination and am so capable of seeing the picture in my head that the author paints.

And the variety of books I do read! I just read a paranormal romance, and then a book about women in concentration camps. My next book I'm about to start is about a teacher who managed to get his special education students to space camp. I must finish this book before I go home in May, mom wants it next. And no, that will be no trouble for me.

If I had access to serious dough, I'd walk into a college bookstore and buy a plethora of textbooks, just so I can keep learning anything and everything at my own pace.

This is why I need a better job that pays more, just so I can buy books without sacrificing a healthier diet. Yes, only for books. We won't discuss shoes...

Action 033: Be Selfless.

These days, it's way to forget that other people have problems too. It's easy to just worry about me and not have to worry about anybody else. It's easy to just roll through my day and tell myself I'll catch up with people some other time.

I had dinner with a friend I haven't seen in a while and it became easy to see I've had my head up my ass. Don't worry, I had company, she said the same of herself... Although not in so many words. (And yes, she'll read this blog and not only not be insulted, but laugh and agree... See why we're friends?).

It's not so easy to catch up. It's not so easy to realize you haven't been the best of friends. It's not so easy to figure out how you're going to be better, because what was once secod nature, no longer is.

I can't do everything at once and I can't fix everything at once, but maybe I could be a tiny bit better at minimally keeping up with one or two people to start and working my way back to my usual... Even if slowly... A speed I've never been good at understanding.

Action 032: Laugh at Myself... Some More

Another church story! What a good girl I've become...

And then again... Maybe not...

Today, as noted, I went to a church not my own. There may or may not have been a few cute, young gentlemen who were not with women and not wearing rings. This may or may not affect my decision to return once or twice.

Did I just say that out loud?! Is this sacrilegious?! It's not like I'm going to church for just this reason...

But, of course, I have to laugh like mad at myself for even thinking like this in the first place.

I mean, let's get real here. If I brought home a nice church boy to the entire family, they'd probably faint away in shock. Could I really do this to people?! My family none the less?!

Yes. Yes, I could.

Action 031: Try New Things.

Today, I went to a new church with a friend.  He asked I attend with him, so I figured, why not?  I attend a church near me fairly regularly, but I'm not going to be the reason for someone else to not go to church :P.  Especially when someone feels the need.

It was definitely an interesting experience.  I really enjoyed the Pastor because he was academic and shared intelligence past the Bible.  I would definitely consider going to this church again, except... I'm Lutheran and not Episcopalian and I know from experience, I tend to feel like I'm cheating on my passed away grandmother when I go to a church not of the faith I was raised in, or the one of our family's traditions hearkening back more years than I can even begin to guess.

But it's definitely a church I'll go along with at various times, just to see what this Pastor has to say about things.  I'm not sure I loved the traditional service, which goes for any denomination.  I much more enjoy contemporary services, so that will also take part in my decision to stay where I'm at.  But still!  It was an enjoyable experience to try a new place of worship and find that I enjoyed what the Pastor had to say, even if the traditionalism was a bit restrictive for me.  I found something new to take part in when the feeling arises to do so.

Action 030: Make Expectations Reasonable.

I have a terrible habit of expecting too much of myself and feeling a complete and utter failure when I can't live up to these expectations. See, when I started this project, absolutely I would write about my five actions as soon as they occurred throughout the day.

Yesterday was a darn tootin' good example of sometimes, that just isn't going to happen.

I had already forgotten the purpose of this project for me; the purpose being to be more aware, not just to slide through my days, waiting for the next time I could go to sleep and get away from all of this. Was I more aware yesterday? Yes. Each blog I wrote this morning, actions 27-30, are from observations and awarenesses of yesterday. They were moments I thought about yesterday, telling myself that I must share. So I did exactly what I set out to do... Yet I felt like a failure because I didn't do it perfectly.

It's not about perfection, but about making it work. I noted in the last blog that I seriously need to be better about balance and this is another prime example of that. Ultimately, I also need to be more effective at creating expectations for myself, ones that I might actually have some chance of succeeding at.

Action 029: Go Out.

I'm 27 years old and I rarely go out. Most of my friends, if not all of them, on this side of the country are shacked up and rarely go out themselves. So I often find myself at a loss on Friday and Saturday nights.

Last night I got a call from a buddy who asked if I wanted to come out and hang with him and a friend, as his wife was at a movie with his sister. I had more "productive" things to do, but I realized I can't complain about nor doing things, then turn them down when they're offered.

So off I went to watch some college ball. I ended up drinking two beers, not one, but eating far less than I'd thought or planned I would. So my nights out don't have to be total disasters, and I can still go out and have fun.

It's all about balance I suppose. There's time enough before Monday rolls around to get things done.

Action 028: Buy Fun Presents.

I have lots of friends with birthdays coming up, as well as an anniversary or two.

Now I can't say much because some of these various people actually read this blog, but...

This is the year of the gag gift and I am having such fun thinking of gifts to give people. They range from the funny to the wracked out to the straight up perfect gift. Who would have thought by simply planning fun and funny, I'd find some perfect things that I would have never thought of otherwise?!

Action 027: Be Productive.

These next four actions were written down to write yesterday evening. This clearly didn't happen. More on that for today's blogs. These are still yesterday's, just documented today.

But this day was particularly constructive and productive, getting a move on to make a rousing return to the PR world. I got much done of which I'm proud and feeling like things are moving again, at least slowly.