Working with uber young ones has taught me a lot about patience and the type of parent I want to be. Side note here: provided I actually remember the lessons I've learned, seeing as how my memory isn't too grand.
I spoke with a colleague in the world of young'uns today about one of the things I've noticed and wanted her thoughts as well. Know that what I write about children is not only my perception. Also note, this isn't meant to be judgmental. I'm well aware I do not have children and until I do, who knows how I'll actually parent. This being said...
Some parents give into their kids realllllly quickly. I mean, ridiculously quickly. And allllll the time. Now don't get me wrong, giving in sometimes is totally fine. I grew up spoiled, because, believe me, my mom knew how to be persuaded by her delightful, wonderful, beautiful only daughter. But when I acted like a brat, those giving in moments halted because I didn't deserve them or hadn't earned them. Some of these children I sit or supervise or corral are brats. And yet, their parents give in and frequently. What I find ironic is that the parents then complain that their children are acting like brats and just sigh and give them whatever it is they want (not just in terms of buying things, but also doing things around the house or when/what they can eat, etc).
Today, I was putting a 20 month old down for her nap. She was fussy because it was a bit later than usual and finally got to the point where I gave her a choice. Your crib or rocking with me. She climbed off my lap, still crying, and stood in the middle of the room, still crying. This to me was the choice of crib (and yes, she understands). She cried for about 10 minutes and I went back in and picked her up. I sat down with her, still crying. And again, offered her the choice of rocking with me and a story or the crib. She tried to climb down again and I reminded her what happened last time she made that choice. She settled into my arms and promptly conked out.
And then I had an epiphany. She was given two choices. She didn't like the result of the first choice she made, so when she was given the opportunity to re-make that decision, she did.
What about me? What about the choices I give myself? In this whole weight loss journey, I often find I give myself choices of this or that. Maybe it's a Starbucks in the morning OR a small scoop of ice cream post dinner. Maybe it's a dance dvd or a treadmill run. Here's the problem. In the first example, far too often, the answer has been both. In the second example, far too often the answer has been neither. Wait a minute, I didn't see an option for both or neither in those examples... Yet, those are the end result. Why? Why is that? If I were a small child asking for this third option, the answer would be no because they aren't healthy or even remotely ultimately gratifying options. And yet, I allow myself to throw a tantrum (so to speak) and give into myself. While the answer is not that I'm a brat like some of the children we have seen, the answer IS that I'm not fit and healthy. Big correlation here, brat to healthy and fit.
Following me?
So, I'm realizing I really should treat myself more like I treat the kids I care for frequently. When I'm hired, it's with the caveat that I'm a teacher and don't take crap. Sure, I allow the usual leeway, as hey now, kids will be kids. But pulling fast ones aren't going to fly. So why am I allowing myself to pull fast ones? Why am I allowing myself to give myself crap?
When I offer myself a choice, I need to make the choice of those listed. Not add some random extra option that isn't conducive to my end goal of getting fitter and healthier.
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