Earlier today, I wrote about needing to focus on one things in respects to the work world right now. Having such split energies has been making me crazy. Well, I suppose I should say crazier. It certainly hasn't helped my anxiety levels or my need to find some semblance of balance in what is absolute chaos right now.
I was able to verbalize a while ago that when I sent out education resumes, I couldn't even be sure I'd be heavily looked at, much less given a job. While I may not get a job right away in PR, at least I know I'll be given a darn good glance or two before being passed over. My experience is really quite strong, as is my ability to offset those skills with the ones I've gained over the last four years.
It was pointed out to me that I've done what I can do for the moment in the education world. I can't make anyone else move any faster and just running around trying is making me spin in circles. But I CAN move forward in PR by finding more companies in the area and networking. I can try to find events to attend and spread out my nets a little bit wider, moving into other big cities on the east coast. I can easily relocate for a couple of years, just to get my feet back under me.
What's hardest right now is that I have to give up the long term dream. I'm not saying for good, just for now. I can't be on "the plan" anymore and assume I'll be married and knocked up by 30/31/32. I can't even hope very hard for it. One - it's just not that simple. Two - I can't split energies. I'm not saying I'm giving up on it, just giving up on the timeline.
I've always been able to get out there and get what I want out of my life. I haven't been able to do this for a really long time. It doesn't matter how proactive I am, I just seem to be failing. So it's time to reorganize and focus. I have to figure out exactly what my priorities are and right now those priorities are the short term, not the long term.
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