This morning I was ridiculously excited to step on the scale. I've had a solid week, yesterday's weigh in was good, and I had a fantastic workout day and solid nutrition day yesterday.
I was UP from yesterday's weight. Seriously, so beyond annoyed.
I had to give myself a pep talk, telling myself the the big picture is that I'm down at my "official" weigh in at WeightWatchers. I told myself that my body will SHOW the changes I've made this week working out and eating even a little better.
As I sit here in my WW meeting, yes I'm typing in the meeting that's about fiber, I realized that there was just no need to feel that way this morning. Yes, the scale will reflect the changes I'm making... Eventually. I weigh enough that the scale is a necessity right now, at least for me. But some weeks I'm going to have a fantastic scale reading and others I won't. As long as I can see the benefits, including in measurements, then it's going to be ok.
I just need to remember that the scale is a tool, but not a part of my definition. It doesn't define me.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Friday, March 30, 2012
Action 025: Just Laugh.
Today, I've already written about laughing at yourself.
Since then, I've talked to my folks. This particular conversation was raunchy as all get out and we were all dying laughing. (And no, I'm not divulging the topic of conversation, otherwise my mother would not only disown me, but do horrible legal things to me...)
Laughing is just so good for the soul. It can make a whole day better.
The best laughs? The ones where you end up laughing til you're crying. Gotta love those!
Since then, I've talked to my folks. This particular conversation was raunchy as all get out and we were all dying laughing. (And no, I'm not divulging the topic of conversation, otherwise my mother would not only disown me, but do horrible legal things to me...)
Laughing is just so good for the soul. It can make a whole day better.
The best laughs? The ones where you end up laughing til you're crying. Gotta love those!
Action 024: Be Alone.
I'm often alone. It's one of the virtues or drawbacks of being single, depending on how I'm feeling at any given moment. Regardless of how I'm feeling at any given moment, I'm entirely capable of handling most situations on my own or knowing who to call to handle them. More than that though, I'm ale to DO things alone.
I've often dined out alone, gone to movies alone, gone running alone... You name it, I've probably done it alone. I don't really see why I shouldn't do something if I want to do it just because I don't have someone with me.
A friend of mine mentioned tonight how he's never done anything like that alone, first trying to pass it off as he needs interactive entertainment. Then we got to the root of it when he mentioned he didn't want to be the recipient of the stigma that's attached to someone being alone.
Every so often I've given a passing thought to this stigma, seeing as how I'm probably the recipient of it at times. And I've never found myself particularly caring either. Maybe it's because I'm hearing impaired and I've been raised to be independent. Or maybe it's because social stigmas just don't bother me personally - they bother me in regards to other people and how society treats them, but me personally? I stopped caring a long time ago.
It was obvious the friend not only doesn't want to be the recipient of the stigma, but also perpetuates it. I debated whether or not to be insulted, but decided like with everyone else, who cares? It's not going to stop me from doing what I want to do, even if it means having to do it alone.
I did keep thinking about it though and I realized it makes me feel strong and capable, knowing that something as simple as going to a movie isn't an issue for me (much less anything else).
I've often dined out alone, gone to movies alone, gone running alone... You name it, I've probably done it alone. I don't really see why I shouldn't do something if I want to do it just because I don't have someone with me.
A friend of mine mentioned tonight how he's never done anything like that alone, first trying to pass it off as he needs interactive entertainment. Then we got to the root of it when he mentioned he didn't want to be the recipient of the stigma that's attached to someone being alone.
Every so often I've given a passing thought to this stigma, seeing as how I'm probably the recipient of it at times. And I've never found myself particularly caring either. Maybe it's because I'm hearing impaired and I've been raised to be independent. Or maybe it's because social stigmas just don't bother me personally - they bother me in regards to other people and how society treats them, but me personally? I stopped caring a long time ago.
It was obvious the friend not only doesn't want to be the recipient of the stigma, but also perpetuates it. I debated whether or not to be insulted, but decided like with everyone else, who cares? It's not going to stop me from doing what I want to do, even if it means having to do it alone.
I did keep thinking about it though and I realized it makes me feel strong and capable, knowing that something as simple as going to a movie isn't an issue for me (much less anything else).
Action 023: Laugh at Yourself.
In order to complete my six mile today, I ended up doing some of it on a trail versus on asphalt.
I was rocking down the trail, having the best time and feeling so good about my ability to run trail.
And then I added .02 to my mileage in less than a second flat.
How?
I went flying over a tree root. And when I say flying, I mean FLYING. I, surprisingly enough, didn't land on my hands, knees, or some other random body part. I actually, shocker of the century, landed on my feet. But still, I went flying. And oh boy.
I just started laughing at myself and decided maybe it was time to get off the trail and back on asphalt... a sign of things to come if I kept it up...
Because this is me we are talking about here...
I was rocking down the trail, having the best time and feeling so good about my ability to run trail.
And then I added .02 to my mileage in less than a second flat.
How?
I went flying over a tree root. And when I say flying, I mean FLYING. I, surprisingly enough, didn't land on my hands, knees, or some other random body part. I actually, shocker of the century, landed on my feet. But still, I went flying. And oh boy.
I just started laughing at myself and decided maybe it was time to get off the trail and back on asphalt... a sign of things to come if I kept it up...
Because this is me we are talking about here...
Action 022: Fuel Properly.
When training for the marathon last year, with a team, it was beat into our heads to fuel properly during the runs and in the surrounding meals/snacks.
I have lots and lots and lots of fuel for runs... and didn't even eat during my six miles. Anything over 45 minutes should be fueled and I'm a slow runner, so there's definitely some need for fuel in my house. Luckily, I did have some electrolytes on me and that I did fuel up on.
I'm still working on fueling properly outside of the runs. I'm not always sure exactly what I need when, so will definitely need to spend some time researching how and what I should be eating and when.
I know how to fuel during runs, even if I don't always do the best job about it. Today, for example. Luckily, it was a short enough run that I'll live.
I have lots and lots and lots of fuel for runs... and didn't even eat during my six miles. Anything over 45 minutes should be fueled and I'm a slow runner, so there's definitely some need for fuel in my house. Luckily, I did have some electrolytes on me and that I did fuel up on.
I'm still working on fueling properly outside of the runs. I'm not always sure exactly what I need when, so will definitely need to spend some time researching how and what I should be eating and when.
I know how to fuel during runs, even if I don't always do the best job about it. Today, for example. Luckily, it was a short enough run that I'll live.
Action 021: Be Proud.
Today, I inadvertently found a four mile loop. I was to run six miles and made it to four and stoked that I found a great loop.
I also decided to do hills this run... which I won't be doing for a long run again, I can tell you that! But the four mile loop... fantastic for a training run.
Now... I'd set out to do six miles. I was back at my car after four... What would I have done in the past? Been done. What did I do today?
FINISHED!
Wahoo! I'm super proud of myself. I actually finished it out and am showing progress in the runs.
I took the pic to show the sweaty and realized just how happy I was about not only finishing, but actually fully finishing the mileage. I wasn't sure going into it I could do it, but it was like my body just remembered how to do it.
But, again, hills are NOT for my long runs, since I have very few hills on my upcoming races. I'll save the hills for one of my training runs. Four miles is a fantastic length and it will be a great way to see how well I'm progressing based on how many hills I can run versus walk.
I also decided to do hills this run... which I won't be doing for a long run again, I can tell you that! But the four mile loop... fantastic for a training run.
Now... I'd set out to do six miles. I was back at my car after four... What would I have done in the past? Been done. What did I do today?
FINISHED!
Wahoo! I'm super proud of myself. I actually finished it out and am showing progress in the runs.
I took the pic to show the sweaty and realized just how happy I was about not only finishing, but actually fully finishing the mileage. I wasn't sure going into it I could do it, but it was like my body just remembered how to do it.
But, again, hills are NOT for my long runs, since I have very few hills on my upcoming races. I'll save the hills for one of my training runs. Four miles is a fantastic length and it will be a great way to see how well I'm progressing based on how many hills I can run versus walk.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Action 020: Buy What You Need.
Today was a shopping day. I got purple lip gloss. And then the running store...
I went in needing little bottles for liquid for my running belt. One of them leaks so badly, that the hip it rides on is SOAKED from liquid and not sweat and is quite annoying.
I ended up with three bottles of Nuun (an electrolyte powder for water), a goo, and a pack of three of the bottles with the tops I prefer, so that was actually quite good.
I didn't quite need ALL of that, but it lasts forever (or by the time I'll use it), so I do need it... at some point. At first I felt a bit guilty about buying quite so much, but then I realized... I will use it. I'm committed to re-training for the marathon and training for the half. I'm in the pool, I'm strength training again using my body weight, and now getting the runs in. Fuel is necessary for long runs, anything more than three miles for me.
Sometimes, certain things are a necessity. In order to stay healthy, fuel is necessary. So no more guilt and excitement for the days to come.
I went in needing little bottles for liquid for my running belt. One of them leaks so badly, that the hip it rides on is SOAKED from liquid and not sweat and is quite annoying.
I ended up with three bottles of Nuun (an electrolyte powder for water), a goo, and a pack of three of the bottles with the tops I prefer, so that was actually quite good.
I didn't quite need ALL of that, but it lasts forever (or by the time I'll use it), so I do need it... at some point. At first I felt a bit guilty about buying quite so much, but then I realized... I will use it. I'm committed to re-training for the marathon and training for the half. I'm in the pool, I'm strength training again using my body weight, and now getting the runs in. Fuel is necessary for long runs, anything more than three miles for me.
Sometimes, certain things are a necessity. In order to stay healthy, fuel is necessary. So no more guilt and excitement for the days to come.
Action 019: Prepare for Tomorrow.
Tonight, I got everything together I'd need for my six mile run tomorrow. It's certainly not the longest I've ever done, but it's the longest I've done in a long while and I'm not 100% sure my body is entirely ready for it. Whenever I have to stop running and walk the rest of it, I will. But, part of the way I can prepare is getting all of my stuff ready tonight for the morning.
Oatmeal has been found to give me heartburn pre run. Cereal doesn't digest fast enough. I'm not 100% decided on trying peanut butter on bread (a suggestion). So I'm going to try egg salad purchased at Whole Foods on a piece of bread, see how that goes. There's no better time than these "shorter" runs to try to figure it out. I have the goods on hand to have a protein shake post run. Well, not milk, but I do have almond milk, so that will have to do.
I have my pants, sports bra, shirt, socks, and shoes all laid out and ready to roll. My sunblock, body glide, and deodorant are all sitting on the dresser. Oh! Time to go find my hat! My watch for timing is ready and my phone is charging for the music and mapping the run. The only disappointment is I can't find the charger for the watch for my proper timing and ease of knowing how far out I've gone (three out and three back). I know where I'm running tomorrow, so that's a bright side. I just don't know what three miles is... guess I'll be finding out! I'm running in a different spot than usual, so I can train with hills on my long runs.
Just being prepared means I can sleep in a bit more and not have to stress first thing in the morning. I can just get up and get down to boogie-ing and heading out to get my run in and done.
Oatmeal has been found to give me heartburn pre run. Cereal doesn't digest fast enough. I'm not 100% decided on trying peanut butter on bread (a suggestion). So I'm going to try egg salad purchased at Whole Foods on a piece of bread, see how that goes. There's no better time than these "shorter" runs to try to figure it out. I have the goods on hand to have a protein shake post run. Well, not milk, but I do have almond milk, so that will have to do.
I have my pants, sports bra, shirt, socks, and shoes all laid out and ready to roll. My sunblock, body glide, and deodorant are all sitting on the dresser. Oh! Time to go find my hat! My watch for timing is ready and my phone is charging for the music and mapping the run. The only disappointment is I can't find the charger for the watch for my proper timing and ease of knowing how far out I've gone (three out and three back). I know where I'm running tomorrow, so that's a bright side. I just don't know what three miles is... guess I'll be finding out! I'm running in a different spot than usual, so I can train with hills on my long runs.
Just being prepared means I can sleep in a bit more and not have to stress first thing in the morning. I can just get up and get down to boogie-ing and heading out to get my run in and done.
Action 018: See Family.
Today I had the opportunity to visit with my version of family. There is a young lady I call my younger sister, whom I've known since I was in the seventh grade. We're generally the same age, but since I'm that tiny bit older... *sigh*. Her family is incredibly supportive of me and I'm always thankful I have this extended family that may not be blood, but they couldn't be stronger of heart.
We stopped at Sephora where I treated myself to a new lip gloss. In purple! Talk about stepping outside of my boundaries. I'm sure there'll be a blog/action about that at some point! Maybe not in this exact respect, but in general. She also bought something and so we both ended up with a freebie gift - who doesn't love such things?!
Then we stopped by the running store (more on that later) and she ended up buying some Nuun, an electrolyte to add to your drink. As she's a med student and heading into her surgery rotation, she's going to need some extra energy help! I drink the stuff on my runs, so I'm all for it!
Last, but not least, we stopped by Whole Foods for a little din din. Tonight was the Friendship Heights Whole Food's prime rib dinner night, where you get prime rib and two sides for 14 bucks. Can't complain about that! I also got some of WF's egg salad because they make it the way I like it and I'm going to try it out pre run (more on that later also).
Her fiance joined in the dining fun and we all enjoyed a quick meal together, catching up. It provided a nice, relaxing afternoon, with a departure from the daily stresses that my life is providing me these days. And hey, can't pass up a yummy dinner with fixed portions!
And those walks to and from metro provided for lots of fun! I was able to amble along and get down with my bad self.
We stopped at Sephora where I treated myself to a new lip gloss. In purple! Talk about stepping outside of my boundaries. I'm sure there'll be a blog/action about that at some point! Maybe not in this exact respect, but in general. She also bought something and so we both ended up with a freebie gift - who doesn't love such things?!
Then we stopped by the running store (more on that later) and she ended up buying some Nuun, an electrolyte to add to your drink. As she's a med student and heading into her surgery rotation, she's going to need some extra energy help! I drink the stuff on my runs, so I'm all for it!
Last, but not least, we stopped by Whole Foods for a little din din. Tonight was the Friendship Heights Whole Food's prime rib dinner night, where you get prime rib and two sides for 14 bucks. Can't complain about that! I also got some of WF's egg salad because they make it the way I like it and I'm going to try it out pre run (more on that later also).
Her fiance joined in the dining fun and we all enjoyed a quick meal together, catching up. It provided a nice, relaxing afternoon, with a departure from the daily stresses that my life is providing me these days. And hey, can't pass up a yummy dinner with fixed portions!
And those walks to and from metro provided for lots of fun! I was able to amble along and get down with my bad self.
Action 017: Move.
Today, I walked to metro for the first time in FOREVER. I live close enough to walk, but generally anticipate being back late enough that I'm wary to walk alone in the deep dark.
It'll barely be dark when I get back tonight, so I decided enough of this being lazy stuff. I tracked it on my running app as a walk, but decided not to track it in my trackers. Is it exercise? Of course. But it's also natural exercise that should be occurring through a normal day. Plus, it means a few extra calories burned that I can't count for food!
I need to spend more time just doing random moments of exercise that may not "count", but keeps te body oiled and burning cals. Maybe I'll start my mornings by doing a lil boogie. Now that could be a fun way to get my days started!
It'll barely be dark when I get back tonight, so I decided enough of this being lazy stuff. I tracked it on my running app as a walk, but decided not to track it in my trackers. Is it exercise? Of course. But it's also natural exercise that should be occurring through a normal day. Plus, it means a few extra calories burned that I can't count for food!
I need to spend more time just doing random moments of exercise that may not "count", but keeps te body oiled and burning cals. Maybe I'll start my mornings by doing a lil boogie. Now that could be a fun way to get my days started!
Action 016: Track.
For the first time in forever and a day, I've been tracking. When I don't track I have a tendency to go waaaaay over budget, both in calories/points and in the delightful pocketbook.
But today I realize just how much I've been eating, even if it hasn't seemed like that much. It's really quite simple, I can eat more of the good stuff for far fewer calories. I can't fill up my plate with bad stuff and still expect those same minimal calories AND nutritional benefit.
Maybe one of these days I'll unstick my head from my tush and get it straight?!
Either way, it feels good to get back to holding myself accountable.
But today I realize just how much I've been eating, even if it hasn't seemed like that much. It's really quite simple, I can eat more of the good stuff for far fewer calories. I can't fill up my plate with bad stuff and still expect those same minimal calories AND nutritional benefit.
Maybe one of these days I'll unstick my head from my tush and get it straight?!
Either way, it feels good to get back to holding myself accountable.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Action 015: Today, Not Tomorrow.
Actions 13 and 14, I had intended to write about earlier, closer to the times they actually occurred. For reasons of being productive in other ways, I didn't get around to it.
I'm currently laying in bed typing these last actions of the day.
Why?
Because I realized that I had thought about my actions and while I had done them, I hadn't finished doing them by sharing them. I almost rolled over, telling myself I'd do them in the morning.
How many times have I done that? Put aside my health by telling myself I'd do it tomorrow.
Part of this project is to stop waiting for tomorrow. It's all about TODAY and what I have done and can do to make my life and my world a better place.
I'm currently laying in bed typing these last actions of the day.
Why?
Because I realized that I had thought about my actions and while I had done them, I hadn't finished doing them by sharing them. I almost rolled over, telling myself I'd do them in the morning.
How many times have I done that? Put aside my health by telling myself I'd do it tomorrow.
Part of this project is to stop waiting for tomorrow. It's all about TODAY and what I have done and can do to make my life and my world a better place.
Action 014: Disappointment.
Today at Trader Joe's, I saw some delicious looking raspberries and strawberries. Oh man, my mouth watered just looking at them.
And then I saw the price tag attached to said fruit. Oh man! Geeeez. Wallet gouging to be sure.
It was disappointing not to be able to get these fruits I actually eat, but someday I'll be able to and until then, I'll just make do! We can't always have what we want. So take those five minutes of disappointment and move on.
Let's look at the bright side, shall we? My mouth watered over FRUIT and not crap. Definitely some solid steps in the right direction, the healthy one.
And then I saw the price tag attached to said fruit. Oh man! Geeeez. Wallet gouging to be sure.
It was disappointing not to be able to get these fruits I actually eat, but someday I'll be able to and until then, I'll just make do! We can't always have what we want. So take those five minutes of disappointment and move on.
Let's look at the bright side, shall we? My mouth watered over FRUIT and not crap. Definitely some solid steps in the right direction, the healthy one.
Action 013: Pamper Yourself.
After my fun little morning, I realized my nails were in rough shape. I also know I have squat for money in the ol' bank account.
So I gathered my supplies and gave myself a mani/pedi! My nails are delightfully short (which my running feet will love) and also prettily colored. It's so nice to look at my nails and see them looking fresh and clean. I feel better about my looks already!
I feel a bath and hair dye in my near future...
So I gathered my supplies and gave myself a mani/pedi! My nails are delightfully short (which my running feet will love) and also prettily colored. It's so nice to look at my nails and see them looking fresh and clean. I feel better about my looks already!
I feel a bath and hair dye in my near future...
Action 012: Go with the Flow.
I got to the gym and find that all the swimming lanes have people in them. I was being a diva this morning and just SO did not feel like sharing a lane with someone.
Did I turn my happy arse around, return home, and go back to sleep? Why, NO, I did NOT!
I did water jogging! I made up my own whole weird routine that included squats, lunges, jumps, high knees, butt kicks, wall push ups (in the pool), and all sorts of other stuff. Almost like a soccer routine warm up, but for 45 minutes and in the water. It was AWESOME. This has inspired me to try a water aerobics class sometime. I've always been reluctant to try because I've always seen old bats with floppy boobs in the water (not to say that this happens in every class in every gym, just the few classes in various gyms I've observed) and it kind of creeps me out, but now? Whatever! Bring on the old bats and floppy boobs! Because that? Was a fun workout. And if I hadn't swum, my hair would still be mostly dry. So on days where I want to get in the water, but don't want a wreck of a hairstyle... now I know what I can do!
I'm only three days into this action stuff and I'm just so much more aware of what's going on around me and my own place in my own life. For all that I had hoped to get out of this, I'm already getting more than I bargained for. Being aware has so much to do with... well... everything. Except I'm pretty sure that could be another blog, so I'll save my expounding.
Did I turn my happy arse around, return home, and go back to sleep? Why, NO, I did NOT!
I did water jogging! I made up my own whole weird routine that included squats, lunges, jumps, high knees, butt kicks, wall push ups (in the pool), and all sorts of other stuff. Almost like a soccer routine warm up, but for 45 minutes and in the water. It was AWESOME. This has inspired me to try a water aerobics class sometime. I've always been reluctant to try because I've always seen old bats with floppy boobs in the water (not to say that this happens in every class in every gym, just the few classes in various gyms I've observed) and it kind of creeps me out, but now? Whatever! Bring on the old bats and floppy boobs! Because that? Was a fun workout. And if I hadn't swum, my hair would still be mostly dry. So on days where I want to get in the water, but don't want a wreck of a hairstyle... now I know what I can do!
I'm only three days into this action stuff and I'm just so much more aware of what's going on around me and my own place in my own life. For all that I had hoped to get out of this, I'm already getting more than I bargained for. Being aware has so much to do with... well... everything. Except I'm pretty sure that could be another blog, so I'll save my expounding.
Action 011: Get Up and Go.
This morning, I woke up at 5:30, had coffee with a friend at 6:15 and then hit the gym.
Lately, I've been sleeping in because... well... what else is there to wake up for these days? Yes, yes, I know. One of the delightful signs of depression. But seriously, when there's nothing to wake up for, then... why wake up? Everything I can do early in the morning, I can also do late at night... Probably not the way to look at it though.
So this morning I got my arse out of bed and got to it. And now I have all sorts of energy for the day!
Off to brunch with D!
Lately, I've been sleeping in because... well... what else is there to wake up for these days? Yes, yes, I know. One of the delightful signs of depression. But seriously, when there's nothing to wake up for, then... why wake up? Everything I can do early in the morning, I can also do late at night... Probably not the way to look at it though.
So this morning I got my arse out of bed and got to it. And now I have all sorts of energy for the day!
Off to brunch with D!
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Action 010: Be Assertive.
Tonight, I went to the Tuesday Night Church dinner at my new church. I haven't "officially" joined, but I've been going pretty consistently. I ended up staying for the mini meeting post dinner, which turned out to be quite interesting. More on that after a note about dinner...
Dinner: It was chili cookout night! So there were about nine chilis and oh man. I sampled about five of them. I'd love to say they were small samples, but... uh... not so much... I'm going to have some wicked heartburn, but for homemade chili of all kinds of varieties? So worth it. And this must be said... This is one of those nights that it's probably good I'm single and living alone. Remember... chili has beans...
Moving on!
Mini Meeting: One of the things the folks at the meeting brought up was that there should be some welcoming material for newbies, so they walk away with expanded information about the church and what they do. One lady mentioned that it can be intimidating to walk into a church alone, that there should be a welcome something or other. I thought back to a month or so ago, when I walked in and they're absolutely right. It can be a little nerve-wracking. So I spoke up and mentioned that not only is paper good, but emails. Folks like me lose paper (I got a laugh at that one!) and so emails are useful.
It occurred to me tonight that I have a tendency to just go balls out and do my own thing. I'm not intimidated by much and even if I am, I tend to just go do it anyways. I'm just an assertive kind of gal and I tend to take that for granted. Tonight I saw how useful this quality can be and how able it makes me to do things in my life as I want to do.
Dinner: It was chili cookout night! So there were about nine chilis and oh man. I sampled about five of them. I'd love to say they were small samples, but... uh... not so much... I'm going to have some wicked heartburn, but for homemade chili of all kinds of varieties? So worth it. And this must be said... This is one of those nights that it's probably good I'm single and living alone. Remember... chili has beans...
Moving on!
Mini Meeting: One of the things the folks at the meeting brought up was that there should be some welcoming material for newbies, so they walk away with expanded information about the church and what they do. One lady mentioned that it can be intimidating to walk into a church alone, that there should be a welcome something or other. I thought back to a month or so ago, when I walked in and they're absolutely right. It can be a little nerve-wracking. So I spoke up and mentioned that not only is paper good, but emails. Folks like me lose paper (I got a laugh at that one!) and so emails are useful.
It occurred to me tonight that I have a tendency to just go balls out and do my own thing. I'm not intimidated by much and even if I am, I tend to just go do it anyways. I'm just an assertive kind of gal and I tend to take that for granted. Tonight I saw how useful this quality can be and how able it makes me to do things in my life as I want to do.
Action 009: Give Credit.
The man who inspired me in the first place gave me a shout out in one of his actions today. It occurred to me I haven't explained why I decided to call my project the same as his, when it's not EXACTLY the same.
One: The obvious. 100 Days, 500 Actions. Regardless of the differences, this part is the same.
Two: There are times when simply giving credit by saying it is enough and other times where doing something to honor that credit is also necessary. To me, it was important to call it Project One Five as he does because it's a tribute to his ability to inspire and a reminder to me that I'm never alone in anything I do, whether it be weight loss related or something else. We barely knew each other, he and I, before this started. I've learned much about him and I feel as though he'll learn much about me before this is "over". But this titling is more than that for me. It's a reminder that everybody has battles in their lives, everybody has triumphs in their lives, but at the end of the day we're living it. It's a reminder to stay present, to stay active in all aspects of my life, and to live to the best of my ability.
I felt it important to explain because I don't want it to seem as though I was being lazy and just didn't want to think of my own project or project title (although, I would fully cop to it if that were the case! I've been known to have a lazy moment or two...). But, in this case, it's not even remotely it. I thought long and hard before deciding to undertake this project if I wanted to do it differently. Maybe a shorter period of time? Maybe fewer actions a day? Maybe call it something different? Maybe add a challenge aspect?
Then I realized I didn't want to do any of those things. My actions are going to be different because my life is different. But the root of this? The purpose of this? Very much so similar to SDJ's. I want to honor and respect that similarity, reminding myself that for all our differences, there is also so much in common.
So thanks John.
One: The obvious. 100 Days, 500 Actions. Regardless of the differences, this part is the same.
Two: There are times when simply giving credit by saying it is enough and other times where doing something to honor that credit is also necessary. To me, it was important to call it Project One Five as he does because it's a tribute to his ability to inspire and a reminder to me that I'm never alone in anything I do, whether it be weight loss related or something else. We barely knew each other, he and I, before this started. I've learned much about him and I feel as though he'll learn much about me before this is "over". But this titling is more than that for me. It's a reminder that everybody has battles in their lives, everybody has triumphs in their lives, but at the end of the day we're living it. It's a reminder to stay present, to stay active in all aspects of my life, and to live to the best of my ability.
I felt it important to explain because I don't want it to seem as though I was being lazy and just didn't want to think of my own project or project title (although, I would fully cop to it if that were the case! I've been known to have a lazy moment or two...). But, in this case, it's not even remotely it. I thought long and hard before deciding to undertake this project if I wanted to do it differently. Maybe a shorter period of time? Maybe fewer actions a day? Maybe call it something different? Maybe add a challenge aspect?
Then I realized I didn't want to do any of those things. My actions are going to be different because my life is different. But the root of this? The purpose of this? Very much so similar to SDJ's. I want to honor and respect that similarity, reminding myself that for all our differences, there is also so much in common.
So thanks John.
Action 008: Be Understanding.
I went on a run today for the first time in a long time. I had on my water pack, long pants, short sleeved training shirt from last year, and a cap. I was running along getting down with my bad self to "American Idiot" when I overhear from a small crowd of middle schoolers a comment about that fatty running by, followed by laughter.
Could I have gotten all sad or pissed off or some other negative emotion that directly affects me? Sure. And at some point, I'm sure I would have. But today? Nope.
Instead, all I did was toss them a pitying look and kept on running. I understand that some kids feel the need to be mean or others simply were never taught manners. I understand that some kids who may be nice in general are affected by peer pressure and feel as if all they can do is laugh along, even if they don't feel like it.
I found myself hoping for each of these kids that they might learn some understanding. I get that I'm not small, but I'm by no means huge. If they were mean to me, how much meaner are they to people who are bigger than I? I found myself thankful that these few taunts were all I received and that I'm able to quickly move away from them. I ran away. Haha, get it?
Seriously though, I did find myself hoping these children won't learn the hard way what it is to have any kind of physical problem. I found myself hoping that these children won't be bullied like they bully others, because oftentimes someday, that's exactly what happens. I found myself hoping these children learn understanding of others by meeting others and learning to open their minds and hearts, in order to be more accepting and more kind.
I've spent my life, since I was in the first grade, talking about my hearing impairment with others. I don't do this to incite pity. I want nothing to do with such an emotion. Rather I do it because I hope people will learn. I hope people will learn that at the end of the day, we're all human. We all end up in the same general place, below dirt, up in the sky, or in the fire pits (based on whatever you believe). So why not make the world a little nicer place by not being a complete jerk to those around you? But, I can also understand that many people come from homes that are cloistered and do not understand differences other than those they grew up with, so I try to remember that when explaining something, anything, about what my life has been like. I'd like to think I'm not all that different than my friends or family, but I do know that there are people who do consider me that different.
But today... I was reminded why I have spent my life being open. Why I've always squashed the fear of rejection or the fear of more bullying to stand up and share. Because I understand that not everybody knows difference and that not everybody knows what to do with differences. Because I understand that knowledge can be power and the more knowledge I can share, the more knowledge other people can take in. Because I understand that I don't know it all and that I'm always wanting to learn more.
I'm not suggesting to be understanding of bullying, but rather to attempt to understand where the roots of it come from, in order to better combat it. Yelling at children never works (Hi Teacher Morgan who learned the hard way), but talking to them, learning about them, trying to connect with them goes a long way. Amazing thought... it works the same way with adults too. Go figure. Yes, there are wonderful differences in this world. Personality differences for instance. I'm simply referring to those pesky physical ones or heart related ones that people tend to get hung up on.
At the end of the day, in those respects, are we really all that different?
Could I have gotten all sad or pissed off or some other negative emotion that directly affects me? Sure. And at some point, I'm sure I would have. But today? Nope.
Instead, all I did was toss them a pitying look and kept on running. I understand that some kids feel the need to be mean or others simply were never taught manners. I understand that some kids who may be nice in general are affected by peer pressure and feel as if all they can do is laugh along, even if they don't feel like it.
I found myself hoping for each of these kids that they might learn some understanding. I get that I'm not small, but I'm by no means huge. If they were mean to me, how much meaner are they to people who are bigger than I? I found myself thankful that these few taunts were all I received and that I'm able to quickly move away from them. I ran away. Haha, get it?
Seriously though, I did find myself hoping these children won't learn the hard way what it is to have any kind of physical problem. I found myself hoping that these children won't be bullied like they bully others, because oftentimes someday, that's exactly what happens. I found myself hoping these children learn understanding of others by meeting others and learning to open their minds and hearts, in order to be more accepting and more kind.
I've spent my life, since I was in the first grade, talking about my hearing impairment with others. I don't do this to incite pity. I want nothing to do with such an emotion. Rather I do it because I hope people will learn. I hope people will learn that at the end of the day, we're all human. We all end up in the same general place, below dirt, up in the sky, or in the fire pits (based on whatever you believe). So why not make the world a little nicer place by not being a complete jerk to those around you? But, I can also understand that many people come from homes that are cloistered and do not understand differences other than those they grew up with, so I try to remember that when explaining something, anything, about what my life has been like. I'd like to think I'm not all that different than my friends or family, but I do know that there are people who do consider me that different.
But today... I was reminded why I have spent my life being open. Why I've always squashed the fear of rejection or the fear of more bullying to stand up and share. Because I understand that not everybody knows difference and that not everybody knows what to do with differences. Because I understand that knowledge can be power and the more knowledge I can share, the more knowledge other people can take in. Because I understand that I don't know it all and that I'm always wanting to learn more.
I'm not suggesting to be understanding of bullying, but rather to attempt to understand where the roots of it come from, in order to better combat it. Yelling at children never works (Hi Teacher Morgan who learned the hard way), but talking to them, learning about them, trying to connect with them goes a long way. Amazing thought... it works the same way with adults too. Go figure. Yes, there are wonderful differences in this world. Personality differences for instance. I'm simply referring to those pesky physical ones or heart related ones that people tend to get hung up on.
At the end of the day, in those respects, are we really all that different?
Action 007: Run. No, Seriously. Run.
Today, I went running. Outside. For the first time in... MONTHS.
You can't really see my sweaty, red face very well. Nonetheless... GO ME. And and and, it was a faster time! Whoaaaaaa. Granted, this could just be a first day back and roll with it deal, but hey, I'll take it!
I still have to shave a full minute off my consistent mile time, but for the first time since I started running about this time last year, I believe I can do it. With the fantastic cross-training of swimming, my breathing is going to be better and my muscles stronger. I was terrible at cross-training when training for the marathon last year (made it to mile 17 and had to stop due to sickness), so this year, that will be a key component. Plus, of course, core and strength training.
Sometime later, we'll discuss food. Ha!
But for now, woot woot! Bring it!
Now we'll see how a long run really goes... Check in Friday on that one!
You can't really see my sweaty, red face very well. Nonetheless... GO ME. And and and, it was a faster time! Whoaaaaaa. Granted, this could just be a first day back and roll with it deal, but hey, I'll take it!
I still have to shave a full minute off my consistent mile time, but for the first time since I started running about this time last year, I believe I can do it. With the fantastic cross-training of swimming, my breathing is going to be better and my muscles stronger. I was terrible at cross-training when training for the marathon last year (made it to mile 17 and had to stop due to sickness), so this year, that will be a key component. Plus, of course, core and strength training.
Sometime later, we'll discuss food. Ha!
But for now, woot woot! Bring it!
Now we'll see how a long run really goes... Check in Friday on that one!
Action 006: Give Thanks. Literally.
Yesterday, I mentioned being thankful for what I have in this world and what abilities I possess.
Today, I'm thankful in a different way and reminded of why we should also thank others for their gifts to us.
I spent some time today writing two thank you cards. Yes, writing. Not computer typing, writing. Why does this matter? Well, I think we forget how absolutely impersonal a computer can be. There may seem to be so little difference between computers and hand writing, but I don't agree. Computers are easy, especially for my generation and those after me. It's easy to just type something up and send off, with nary even a proof read. When we take the time to write, and yes, it takes time, we think about what we want to say, we think about how we want to say it, and we think through what physically goes down on the paper. Why? Because we don't want to have to start over.
I could be wrong, but I think both of these people will enjoy receiving actual hand-written cards versus email. Both were incredibly generous to me and they're family in every way that counts. I hope, when they read my card, they know this and feel this.
I think it's important to remember to not only say, "thank you", but to express it in other ways as well. I personally love receiving mail (and rarely do), so I need to remember to share that with others.
Today, I'm thankful in a different way and reminded of why we should also thank others for their gifts to us.
I spent some time today writing two thank you cards. Yes, writing. Not computer typing, writing. Why does this matter? Well, I think we forget how absolutely impersonal a computer can be. There may seem to be so little difference between computers and hand writing, but I don't agree. Computers are easy, especially for my generation and those after me. It's easy to just type something up and send off, with nary even a proof read. When we take the time to write, and yes, it takes time, we think about what we want to say, we think about how we want to say it, and we think through what physically goes down on the paper. Why? Because we don't want to have to start over.
I could be wrong, but I think both of these people will enjoy receiving actual hand-written cards versus email. Both were incredibly generous to me and they're family in every way that counts. I hope, when they read my card, they know this and feel this.
I think it's important to remember to not only say, "thank you", but to express it in other ways as well. I personally love receiving mail (and rarely do), so I need to remember to share that with others.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Action 005: Water. Water. Water.
Water is the fuel of life.
Just the other day I bought a new Camelbak water bottle at a whole 32 ounces instead of my usual 24. I love this thing! So much more water without having to refill! That being said, my goal today was to drink three of them.
And I did!
I feel so much more refreshed and my heartburn that has been fairly consistent the last few days is actually feeling a bit better.
Let's keep this up, shall we???
I best not forget the wonderful powers this delightful liquid beverage does for the ol' body.
Just the other day I bought a new Camelbak water bottle at a whole 32 ounces instead of my usual 24. I love this thing! So much more water without having to refill! That being said, my goal today was to drink three of them.
And I did!
I feel so much more refreshed and my heartburn that has been fairly consistent the last few days is actually feeling a bit better.
Let's keep this up, shall we???
I best not forget the wonderful powers this delightful liquid beverage does for the ol' body.
Action 004: Be Prepared.
This blog isn't just about directly related fitness and nutrition. It's also about all sorts of things that make my life more enriched and help assist my overall happiness and lack of stress.
Today, I have bought supplies for my upcoming organizing for the purpose of moving.
I got some beautiful Martha Stewart file folders, which were quite reasonably priced for fun and printed file folders. I also got some labels for the boxes that will be going into storage. So rather than just sloppily write all over the box, I'm going to make use of the space I'll have and make it neat and tidy. Who'll know when I need something?! Seeing as how I'm downsizing in living quarters...
I also got some beautiful magnets because magnets make me happy and pens because... well... because they also make me ridiculously happy.
I'm reminded how good it is to be prepared for all that is coming. Knowing that I'll have a small storage space soon enough and the need to file away papers is a part of thinking ahead. Putting this knowledge to use and getting the requisite supplies is a part of being prepared and lessening my future stress. Instead, as I find papers and as I pack boxes, I can immediately do something neat and tidy about it.
And yes, my mother is dying laughing at the idea of yours truly being neat and tidy...
Today, I have bought supplies for my upcoming organizing for the purpose of moving.
I got some beautiful Martha Stewart file folders, which were quite reasonably priced for fun and printed file folders. I also got some labels for the boxes that will be going into storage. So rather than just sloppily write all over the box, I'm going to make use of the space I'll have and make it neat and tidy. Who'll know when I need something?! Seeing as how I'm downsizing in living quarters...
I also got some beautiful magnets because magnets make me happy and pens because... well... because they also make me ridiculously happy.
I'm reminded how good it is to be prepared for all that is coming. Knowing that I'll have a small storage space soon enough and the need to file away papers is a part of thinking ahead. Putting this knowledge to use and getting the requisite supplies is a part of being prepared and lessening my future stress. Instead, as I find papers and as I pack boxes, I can immediately do something neat and tidy about it.
And yes, my mother is dying laughing at the idea of yours truly being neat and tidy...
Action 003: Music Mania.
Music makes the world go round. I'm convinced of it. Plus, after my whole spiel about being lucky to hear, I decided to go looking through my reallllly old music files... you know... the ones that aren't even on my newest computer! I had to go old school and into my external hard drive.
And there I found "American Idiot". I used to lift to this album (old school Green Day). And so I shall do again. Bring on the lifting old school style!
(Now if I could just find the exercise case for my stupid phone... I might need to make another investment and buy another one... Why must everything cost money?! Because how else am I going to lift to my old school music on my iPhone?!)
And there I found "American Idiot". I used to lift to this album (old school Green Day). And so I shall do again. Bring on the lifting old school style!
(Now if I could just find the exercise case for my stupid phone... I might need to make another investment and buy another one... Why must everything cost money?! Because how else am I going to lift to my old school music on my iPhone?!)
Action 002: Five Minutes
I went to dinner with a friend of the family and his wife last night. I heard about the gentleman's daughter after inquiring about her.
He busted with pride while telling me that she found a job she loves and is enjoying her fiance. Two important facts go into what comes next: She's younger than me and has a BA in the arts.
And then the little green envy monster hit. Job? Psshhh. Love life? Bigger pppssshhh. I didn't think anything at the time, preferring to just move on and talk about something else. But today? The little green envy monster got nasty.
Most people who know me know I don't make much of my multiple degrees. I'm proud of myself for doing them and doing them well, but otherwise, I could care less if I'm surrounded by people who have the same. But today? Oh boy. How does someone with a BA in the motherfriggin arts get a job and I, with a BA from the number one English department in the country and TWO MA's, can't get a job to save my life? I'll admit to these thoughts. I don't mean to put them on paper to make myself sound like a horrible human being, but rather to admit to a fault I had. I kept trying to make myself feel guilty for thinking this way, but that only made the envy monster get even worse.
Because then it turned into a matter of how my life isn't anywhere near where I'd ever expected it to be and not necessarily in a good way. All I could think about was how if somebody asks my dad about me, what is there to bust with pride about anymore? I'm not in school anymore, there's nothing to talk about. Nothing I'm doing is worth much of anything.
I realized I couldn't keep thinking in such negative ways. So, I remembered a time I told a friend of mine to take five minutes and let the feelings and bad thoughts happen. It didn't matter what the thoughts were or just how bad they might become. Just give yourself five minutes and allow it to happen. Then... stop. You've given yourself time and allowance to feel what you so clearly need to feel, but then that stops.
I took my own advice. I let myself have five minutes (not including the many I'd already had...) and oddly enough, by the end of those five minutes, I didn't feel the need to continue.
I legitimately set up a timer on my phone. Not just looked at the time, but set up a timer. Having the buzzer go off made a resounding, signifying, and almost momentous end. It was almost as if my head and heart breathed a sigh of relief that this negative cycle of shit was over. I'm not going to pretend that I'm in the best of moods now, but I'm certainly not in the worst of moods either.
So give it a try. See if allowing yourself a set amount of time works for you. I'll certainly be remembering to do this as the days move forward.
He busted with pride while telling me that she found a job she loves and is enjoying her fiance. Two important facts go into what comes next: She's younger than me and has a BA in the arts.
And then the little green envy monster hit. Job? Psshhh. Love life? Bigger pppssshhh. I didn't think anything at the time, preferring to just move on and talk about something else. But today? The little green envy monster got nasty.
Most people who know me know I don't make much of my multiple degrees. I'm proud of myself for doing them and doing them well, but otherwise, I could care less if I'm surrounded by people who have the same. But today? Oh boy. How does someone with a BA in the motherfriggin arts get a job and I, with a BA from the number one English department in the country and TWO MA's, can't get a job to save my life? I'll admit to these thoughts. I don't mean to put them on paper to make myself sound like a horrible human being, but rather to admit to a fault I had. I kept trying to make myself feel guilty for thinking this way, but that only made the envy monster get even worse.
Because then it turned into a matter of how my life isn't anywhere near where I'd ever expected it to be and not necessarily in a good way. All I could think about was how if somebody asks my dad about me, what is there to bust with pride about anymore? I'm not in school anymore, there's nothing to talk about. Nothing I'm doing is worth much of anything.
I realized I couldn't keep thinking in such negative ways. So, I remembered a time I told a friend of mine to take five minutes and let the feelings and bad thoughts happen. It didn't matter what the thoughts were or just how bad they might become. Just give yourself five minutes and allow it to happen. Then... stop. You've given yourself time and allowance to feel what you so clearly need to feel, but then that stops.
I took my own advice. I let myself have five minutes (not including the many I'd already had...) and oddly enough, by the end of those five minutes, I didn't feel the need to continue.
I legitimately set up a timer on my phone. Not just looked at the time, but set up a timer. Having the buzzer go off made a resounding, signifying, and almost momentous end. It was almost as if my head and heart breathed a sigh of relief that this negative cycle of shit was over. I'm not going to pretend that I'm in the best of moods now, but I'm certainly not in the worst of moods either.
So give it a try. See if allowing yourself a set amount of time works for you. I'll certainly be remembering to do this as the days move forward.
Action 001: Be Thankful
One thing I've noticed today is that I often take the little things for granted and forget to be thankful for it.
This morning, driving back from coffee with a friend, I saw the wind blowing through the newly bloomed something or other trees that have small flowers on the branches. The wind was causing small petals to fall slowly to ground, drifting before settling.
Or hearing a child laughing down the hallway of my apartment building. I now work with children almost daily, so I rarely hear such a sound anymore, ignoring it as I go. But this morning, for whatever reason, I heard the sound down the hallway and delighted in it. Maybe mom was giving the child a belly berry or dad was do the lift and toss. Whatever it was, it was beautiful.
I then remembered that I also need to be thankful that I can hear in the first place. There are times when I throw myself a delightful pity party, but they often don't last long. One of the few things in my life I've come to complete terms with is the hearing. I once read a quote by Christopher Reeves, noting something to the effect that even though he was now disabled, he still dreams as a fully abled person with no disability. I've never had dreams as a hearing person, it's just always been a part of me. I'm not sure if that makes it easier or harder in some respects. But at the end of the day, I can hear somethings.
This morning, driving back from coffee with a friend, I saw the wind blowing through the newly bloomed something or other trees that have small flowers on the branches. The wind was causing small petals to fall slowly to ground, drifting before settling.
Or hearing a child laughing down the hallway of my apartment building. I now work with children almost daily, so I rarely hear such a sound anymore, ignoring it as I go. But this morning, for whatever reason, I heard the sound down the hallway and delighted in it. Maybe mom was giving the child a belly berry or dad was do the lift and toss. Whatever it was, it was beautiful.
I then remembered that I also need to be thankful that I can hear in the first place. There are times when I throw myself a delightful pity party, but they often don't last long. One of the few things in my life I've come to complete terms with is the hearing. I once read a quote by Christopher Reeves, noting something to the effect that even though he was now disabled, he still dreams as a fully abled person with no disability. I've never had dreams as a hearing person, it's just always been a part of me. I'm not sure if that makes it easier or harder in some respects. But at the end of the day, I can hear somethings.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
"Project One Five"
This project belongs to another person, a person who wanted to prepare himself in every possible way for his upcoming marathon. I, too, am training for a marathon, but more than that I want to become a healthier individual in every possible way. I am using a sparkfriend’s plan of action, entitled “Project One Five”. I find his concept thorough, captivating, and thought-provoking. 100 Days, 500 Actions. 100 days with five things to think about per day. I love that he is open and shares and I hope to do the same with you. I am a firm believer that there are four strands of life that make up each of us: Physical, Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual. Each of these must be nurtured in order to be a well-rounded and satisfied human being… whatever your definition of each of those might be.
Today is March 25, 2012. My actions will start tomorrow, using today to prepare for the upcoming journey that is about to commence. I am ready to try something new, making changes along the way that will help lead to becoming a healthier (and happier) individual.
A note: I won't be doing my actions in the same order as his. Many of his actions come about during his daily living. Some of my actions will be my own and some will be based on his. Some of his have already reminded me of things I need to do, so I will take inspiration from him. But I don't believe this is about forcing anything or making it happen just because. There is purpose to this and I need to respect that. The purpose is for me to learn and explore MYSELF, not do it for someone else or on someone else's schedule. And therein lies one of the lessons I will need to work on daily as I move forward in this.
Today is March 25, 2012. My actions will start tomorrow, using today to prepare for the upcoming journey that is about to commence. I am ready to try something new, making changes along the way that will help lead to becoming a healthier (and happier) individual.
A note: I won't be doing my actions in the same order as his. Many of his actions come about during his daily living. Some of my actions will be my own and some will be based on his. Some of his have already reminded me of things I need to do, so I will take inspiration from him. But I don't believe this is about forcing anything or making it happen just because. There is purpose to this and I need to respect that. The purpose is for me to learn and explore MYSELF, not do it for someone else or on someone else's schedule. And therein lies one of the lessons I will need to work on daily as I move forward in this.
Check out his site at: The "Real" Project One Five
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